Welcome everyone to the latest Quote File. The Quote File is basically the "best and brightest" of rec.arts.drwho - that is, the funniest quotes to appear in the newsgroup as nominated by *you*. To that end, if you see a quote you think derserves an entry in the Quote File, just mail me at smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca or the handy-dandy radwquotefile@geocities.com and include the attributions and the quote in full. Since this newsgroup is more than full of it's fair share of off-topic/pointless stuff, I'd like to request that you *don't* waste bandwidth by shouting "Quote File!" in the newsgroup - email it to me instead! Please don't be shy about this - even if you only think it's mildly funny, I'd *much* rather have too many to choose from than too few. Also, please note that all dates are approximations only (ie when they got emailed to me, rather than when they got posted). Disclaimer: The copyright of all material contained herein remains with the original poster. No attempt is made to supercede any copyright and the Quote File maintains its impartiality under Fair Use for purposes of Comment or Review. On with the quotes! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Grant Watson wrote: >Actually, I was wondering if it was deliberate to have the last Doctor >Who NA titled "The Dying Days" and then follow it up the next month >with "Oh No It Isn't!" (the dying days of the NAs, that is). Was "War of the Daleks" actually commissioned as "Oh No It Didn't"? Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net> 30/8/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net> wrote: >""Was "War of the Daleks" actually commissioned as "Oh No It Didn't"?"" Originally it was just "Oh No". Lance Parkin ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Randy Jean-Marc Lofficier wrote: > One word: Pertwee. I'm sorry. For some reason I just found this really, really amusing. I have this urge now just to throw it into a conversation, or better yet, an argument, and watch others' reactions. :-P K. M. Wilcox (kmwilcox@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu> 31/8/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Jones, posting under the account of Phil Stanger (pstanger@argonet.co.uk> wrote: >>Yeah, but you're the guy who says that McCoy looks gay for carrying an >>umbrella. I deduce from this you yourself use the word 'gay' as a insult >>since you were talking about McCoy and further deduce that you were not >>using the word to mean 'happy' since the constant carrying of an umbrella >>suggests a somewhat pessimistic outlook. James Bennetts (glamma@alphalink.com.au> wrote: > Not necessarily. Personally, I quite like rain. Richard : Read the card. James : Phil S ? Richard : The other side. James : But this says...? Richard : Richard J, Happiness Patrol undercover. Have a nice death. Richard Jones (pstanger@argonet.co.uk> 31/8/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: Looking for vinyl] Toyah? Is that you? :-) Kate Orman (korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au> 31/8/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Kate Orman (korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au) wrote: >>I would bow before your obviously superior wisdom, except that you're >>talking about Anubis, the jackal-headed god, and we're talking about >>Set. :-) John C. Dechon (ah931@rgfn.epcc.edu> wrote: >Well, then, I apologize for my response. I'm the one who needs to get up >to speed on the subject. WARNING! WARNING! CTRL-& INSTIGATE COMMAND OVERRIDE PLEASE REMAIN CALM WARNING! PARAMETERS EXCEEDED! PLEASE DESIST REMAINING CALM AND BEGIN PANICING ESC-^W (%) #802 BEGIN ERROR MESSAGE TO USER: "Dear Mr Dechon, "Unfortunately, I must inform you that you have destroyed the entire internet and caused the annihilation of every newsgroup currently in operation. "The words 'I apologize' and your clearly humble attitude have exceeded the parameters upon which this and every other newsgroup is run. Such attitudes run contrary to the very definition of usenet and are, consequently, clearly unacceptable. "We'd like to offer you a number of alternatives, but we are unfortunately faced with the bewildering prospect of being unable to do so on account of never having seen those words uttered here at any time in the past. "When a decision is reached, be assurred that you will be the first to know." CONJECTURE: BALANCE REQUIRED! SEARCH AND LOCATE ANTITHESIS ATTITUDE. USE ALL SEARCH PARAMETERS TO LOCATE BELLIGERANT AND ARROGANT POSTER WITH NO POSSIBILITY OF UTTERING THE WORDS "I apologize". $$$ USER LOCATED! $$$ BEGIN MESSAGE TO USER: "Greetings, Mr Azaxyr..." Robert Smith? (smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca> 2/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Mei Ray wrote: >That's all fine, but what about Skaro getting blown to bits? That has to >take place last. Does have to take place last; but shall DID have to have take place last, at which point did not take place at all, with the result that will take place but not as previously understood, but not necessarily having taken place last (pursuant to Peel ). Don't you love the chrono-grammatical implications introduced by foreknowledge of an impending retcon? Danny Gooley (dgooley@deetya.com> 3/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: WANT TO MAKE DOCTOR WHO!!!!!! based on WANT TO MAKE MONEY!!!! !!] Sorry if this does not have much to do with the usual topics of flames and in-fighting, but Doctor Who is the universal traveller in time and space right? At first I believed it couldn't work. "No, that's a scam" I said to myself. But then I thought, "Why not? What can it hurt?". So I invested $5.00, with nothing to lose. And guess what? When I went to sleep that night, I dreamt the most amazing Doctor Who episode ever! And it only cost me $5.00!!! Now, I know what you're thinking, that this is one of those newsgroup spams. But it's not, it's perfectly legal. And I know, because I just told you so. Yes, you too can make the most exciting Doctor Who episodes ever, merely by sending $5.00 to me and I'll tell you my amazing secret for dreaming the most incredible episodes ever. You won't believe how little it costs to make Doctor Who! And you'll be the envy of your friends - until you, too, can tell them to send %5.00 to me and I can help them be as cool as you. Yes, that's right, only $5.00 and you can Make Doctor Who!!!!! Why wait? At least this spam is *admitting* you're throwing away the money on a dream... Robert Smith? (smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca> 4/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: WANT TO MAKE DOCTOR WHO!!!!!!] Testimonial: At first I wasn't sure about this - I mean, it sure *sounds* like one of those internet scams that you hear about. But the more I thought about what I'd be able to do with a *whole new* Doctor Who episode, I decided: "What the heck?" I sent my $5 off to Robert Smith? that very afternoon, and sure enough, just one week later, I got a whole, vivid Doctor Who experience right there *in my own brain*! Unfortunately it appears to have been 'Underworld' Part 3. David Versace (davidv@gbrmpa.gov.au> 5/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: Announcement: "DW: DICKS "] We are Kling Films, the freehand sketch/web-page/newgroup- posting arm of the Topsham Corporation. Kling Films is a large tasteful house in Fulham run entirely by electricity. Kling is my brainchild, along with a random assortment of Febrile Imaginings (tm) dredged up in the middle of the night. I've been trying to launch DW: DICKS (Doctor Who: Done In Crayoned Komic Strips). (NB: check speling here before posting.> This would have commenced in 1980 right after "Shada" were it not for the interference of another producer. I cannot name this person for legal reasons, but his initials were JNT (no relation). I haven't given up. Those of you who know me will know that, now aged 22, I am a dynamic, go-getting, creamily dreamily sexually potent half-man half-biscuit with a yearning to bring back DW and my own box of pointy-sharp Crayolas just rarin' to hit the page. Everyone on my premises is a DW fan, including my pet pig (Mr Sin). We're all spotty fanboys, but when it comes to business we pull our furry parka hoods tight, zip up our Milletts anoraks, and fill in those black-and-white comic strips *without* ever going over the edge of the black lines. I'm the powerhouse financial backer of this project, my sons Billy-Pat, Jonny-Tom, Petey-Col, and... er... the Scottish one (NB: check name with wife later. NB2: check wife's name first.> are the workhorses. And, of course, the brains of the outfit is Mr Sin. I wish I could tell you how far we've got resurrecting the high-quality strips that made TV Comic the true home of canon-DW, but I don't want to jinx a project that I've been working on night and day since I first picked up a tatty TV-21 while waiting fearfully in the dentist's waiting room at the age of five, with my dad sneering at me from the corner of the room and leering at me and snapping "don't be such a cry-baby, they're only gonna rip out the big ones at the back, what's that yer readin' boy? bwahahaha." Just stand by and keep your crayons sharp. We have over *one hundred* TV Comic strips photocopied and ready for colourization. One BBC Exec (who I can't name because I cannot remember his name) said of me: "Didn't you send me abusive mail in the early 1990s when you mistook me for Jonathan Powell?" A second BBC exec moaned: "I think I remember you appearing on Did You See wearing a dog poo on your head." Some things to note: The Alastair Pearson Issue: at the time I thought he was rather heavily reliant on stock photographs, but after seeing his covers for the early NAs, I have decided that far too many photos of the time were composed just like Al's artwork. So don't give me none of that "he's a photonazie" rubbish. Recasting the Doctor: if we can't get permission from the actors on whom the TV Comics' drawings of the Doctor were based (none of them, of course, ever appeared in the original TV show), I will redraw all the faces using the likeness of Kenny Baker, who many of you will remember as R2-D2 in Andy Lane's "The Empire Strikes Glass" and Hate Orman's "Return of the Living Jedi". Availability: I cannot reveal which publishers will be printing these state-of-the-art colourized strips (for obvious reasons, including I can't remember who I actually spoke to). I hope the fans will respect this highly secretive announcement, and be aware that I do not want this information propogating beyond the 12.7 million usenet people who may see this via Yahoo or HotBot search engines. And of course, BE GRATEFUL. BE VERY GRATEFUL, YOU WHINGEING BASTARDS. I'VE GOT WAX THE COLOUR OF BURNT OCHRE AND VERMILION UNDER MY FINGERNAILS AFTER All the work I've put in on this ALREADY OVer the past SEVENTEen YEARS. (Note to self: try to get shift lock fixed on this keyboard.> I may have to restrict my Friendliness soon, because although I bought a jumbo pack of it earlier last month, I think I've been measuring it out with tablespoons instead of teaspoons. (Sorry to go all Imperial on you for a moment :-) Some of you will love me like Sally Field at the Oscars. Some of you will hate me like the "McCoy vs Pertwee" thread. But you'll all agree that Mr Sin is Some Pig. "Ge'rouda Tawoon, B'dee" (Gallifreyan for "is that the time, you must be going")* Peter Anghelides and the Kling Films Team *yes, the Gallifreyan language has been invented from scratch from a recording of Mr Sin eating, replayed backwards at 16rpm. Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net> 5/9/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Azaxyr (azaxyr@aol.com> wrote: >Not if you consider the possibility that after Davros' little coupe, How does he drive it with only one arm? Luke Gutzwiller (lucifer@probe.net> 5/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: What do you call a Doctor Who Fan ?] ARB (arbarnes@online.no> wrote: >A Whovian of course -Thats what I have been since emerging from behind >the sofa... Does that mean that fans of the Sontarans are couch potatoes? Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net> 9/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- GM953 wrote: >> Now I just finished reading the thread about Jackie Jenkins and I was >> wondering... >> "What about the good-looking MALE fans of Dr. Who???" John Long (jlbc@epix.net> wrote: >I hear Azaxyr is pretty damn cute. Everything seems suddenly clear. Random Companion (random_c@espace.demon.co.uk> 9/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- howatson@mail.dec.com wrote: >>I was at Gareth Roberts's house the other day (name-dropper), and I >>noticed that he now has a shiny new computer in his room. >>Would any that know him personally like to join in persuading him to get >>a modem and start posting nonsense to brighten up our days ? We do not believe you. Indubitably, were Mr Roberts to have gained possession of the aforementioned machinery, he would have explained its function to you as a device for computational analysis, pure and simple. "A shiny new computer" sounds more like something Christopher Bulis would have. On the other hand, Keith Topping and Martin Day would need to describe its 8XCD, 3 gighard drive, and MMX chip before you got into the room, probably along with some joke about the Tardis computer having "Time-RAM". Craig Hinton would describe it in a four-sentence description of charmingly hyperbolic technobabble. Justin Richards would make you think it was a computer, but you'd discover later in the evening that it was really an ancient 405-line TV disguised as a 486-DX PC to keep it out of the clutches of BBC Engineering. Kate Orman and Jonathan Blum would describe it in three pages of clever oblique prose, after which you'd go: "oh, it's a *computer* they're talking about - neat!" You'd ask Paul Cornell to show you his computer, but he'd look at you with a glazed look and say something about how he can hear owls in his study. Terrance Dicks would write: "I had a computer. "The drashig ate it." Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net> 11/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- STATE OF DECAY Exclusive! An In-Vision special by Andrew Pixie. SCRIPT In early 1980, Terrance Dicks was thrilled to bits to hear from the new producer of Doctor Who. Apparently he wanted to use some old tat that Terry had written years ago but had always been rejected by successive production teams over the years. It was the one about giant vampires! State of Decay was originally called Invasion of the Vampires and written for the third Doctor. Horrible vampire monsters were led by the Master to Earth to suck the planet dry. UNIT narrowly defeated the alien menace by utilising garlic bullets and wooden missiles. Barry Letts wasn't too impressed and commissioned The Claws of Axos instead. A few years later, Dicks rewrote it as The Giant Vampire, the debut story for the fourth Doctor but Barry recognised the script. It became The Wasting in 1977 as Dicks became rather cynical about his script. It was also submitted as part of the Key to Time sequence, now entitled A Shit State. Dicks later explained at a convention that he changed the name from A Shit State to State of Decay because it just might attract unintentional negative views - "This story is A Shit State." Another rumoured title seems to point to Return of the Krynoid but this cannot be 100% confirmed. So how did Terrance get on with the dynamic new production team? "That script-editor was a right bastard - we couldn't agree on anything. I wanted to call the story The Vampire Mutations but he insisted we call it Decay - No Vampires, Honest. He was adamant that he didn't want the viewers to latch on to the fact that the story featured vampires. Oh he was off his cake, that one. He cut all my stuff about the chief gnome and his fishing rod because he wanted to get rid of the fantasy aspect of the series and return to its scientific roots!" "He also insisted that we put in that bit about Grimm's theory of Language or whatever. I said to him, "but Chris, it's crap." "No, no, no!" he cried. "It's fascinating!" "He punched me on the nose and I agreed that it was, after all, a really good idea. Choking through blood, I asked him if the H was short for Hamilton. He replied that I should know that his full name was Christopher Don't Give Me Shit Bidmead and kicked me savagely in the nuts." Dicks goes on, recalling those halcyon days; "After that I just agreed to write whatever he wanted. I wanted to get paid. A lot of people have asked me why the scenes in State of Decay were so long. That's down to sloppy directing and I blame that twit they got from All Creatures Great and Small. Mind you, that Moffat was a whizz when it came to crosswords, but he was happier when he could film Christopher Timothy ramming his arm up a cow. SCRIPT EDITING Christopher H Bidmead hated this script; "Terrance, this script is shit!" He said to the stalwart writer. "Well, stuff you then," replied Dicks. "Yeah, but we're desperate mate. This new producer needs a script done in record time and if he doesn't get it then I won't get paid. You've got a reputation for churning stuff out at breakneck speed." "You cheeky git!" "Come on - we'll pay you 'ching!" "Okay, I'll do it!" Chris Bidmead extensively reworked the script that Dicks delivered, maliciously ripping out the carefully constructed fantasy elements that Terrance had slaved over. Out went Damian the chief gnome and his band of magic fairies with their purple shoes. Instead in came Kalmer and all that stuff about the Laws of Constanants, how words change over the years. A good example of this is the phrase; "Three cheers for the chubby new producer!" which changed into "Sack the fat bastard!" Gone too was the chief gnome's fishing rod of terror which summoned up the giant vampires from the magic circle on Ancient Gallifrey. Rumour has it that Stephen Payne came across this draft of the story whilst writing The Greatest Script in the Galaxy. Bidmead had this to say about Dicks; "Obviously I respect the man, he has a great talent. I just don't think it lies in writing. He's probably just unsuitable for writing Doctor Who. If there's one thing I think I achieved as script-editor on the series, it was to change the direction that Doctor Who was going in. After the ghastly Graham Williams era, I feel that JNT and I totally revamped the show to its advantage. More science and less fantasy, that sort of thing. I mean, did you see that Nimon one, good God!" At this stage the interviewer asked Bidmead if he has seen some of the later shows. As he had not, we took the opportunity to show him The Twin Dilemma, Mindwarp, Paradise Towers and The Happiness Patrol. "!" Christopher H. Bidmead is now residing in a mental hospital where he was last seen scribbling strange figures with three eyes on the wall in his ward with a green crayon. The editorial team would like to publicly deny all responsibility for the state of his health. A state of decay... DIRECTOR AND TEAM JNT was in a right dither. Gary Downie had yet to join his happy little team and he only had Barry Letts for support and Barry would only give him practical and formal help, not emotional or physical relief. He needed a script fast and so he called in the resources of Terrance Dicks whom he knew he could get for peanuts and asked him to rewrite this script for the fiftieth time, the script that had been rejected by the BBC every two years since the early seventies. Now he needed a director. Using his vast network of in-house contacts, he managed to get someone who once worked on All Creatures Great and Small roped in. Peter Moffat could get several complicated shots of Christopher Timothy sticking his arm up a cow done in record time. This meant that he was cheap and everyone could go home on time, if not early which was, of course, the main priority on Doctor Who. Peter Moffat didn't see eye-to-eye with Bidmead either. The script editor didn't want a gothic, Hammer-style production despite the fact that the story cried out for such treatment; "How the hell can you set a vampire story in a medieval community without it looking gothic and moody? What the hell was Bidmead on?!" FILMING Location filming took place at terminal 7 at Heathrow on 24th to 27th of June 1979. Patrick Troughton was ill that week and couldn't make it. Louise Jamieson had bad memories of this story - "Nick Courtney had been up all night with a stomach bug and he didn't look too right the next day. After a few dodgy starts, I seem to recall him bumping into Davros every few minutes or so. I was convinced that he was going to throw up on me and Camilla (Rhoda Lewis). David Banks pulled me to one side when Nick spewed up. It missed me but the little midget - I can't remember it's name, Mr Sun or something - got covered. This was my earliest memory of Jon Pertwee as the Doctor. He made me very welcome when I joined the cast. "Now listen to me," he said in that rich dark brown voice of his. "This is my show, just leave the hero business to me. You're just paid to smile, flash your legs and say 'What is it, Doctor?' at the end of episode one. Do that and we'll get on just famously." This was around the time that Louise appeared nude with a Dalek in the pages of Colour Climax magazine. Nicholas Courtney had this to say about State of Decay. "Ah yes, State of Decay. Brilliant stuff by Terrance Dicks. I relished the opportunity to wear an eyepatch. And you know, there's this hilarious story about the eyepatch..." VISUAL EFFECTS. Tony Harding reveals the secrets behind the sumptuous effects on this story; "Basically, we were skint!" We then asked him to elaborate if we gave him a bit more money. He agreed. "All right then - the producer, a fat bloke with a beard, I seem to remember, asked me to knock up a sort of gothic tower. But could I do it on the cheap? I reused an old space rocket from Blake's 7 and tarted it up with paint and crap and stuff and that seemed to do the trick. When I showed it off to the script editor (he was a funny bloke, I can tell you. Kept on juming up and down and screaming about being too silly and too much fantasy and not enough science. When he saw my shit-hot model he started crying and told me that no-one would believe that it didn't look like an old space rocket left over from Blake's 7. Then he gazed up with a funny look in his eyes and disappeared with a set of scripts in his hand. A saw him later on that day and he was trying to explain that he'd worked it out that the castle was actually meant to be a decrepit space ship. I nodded and smiled, I hadn't the heart to tell him that I had seen Christine Ruscoe's set designs. I wasn't sure if he'd notice that the interiors looked like stone and brick. There was a furious row which ended up in a vicious stabbing and various broken limbs but Christine took it very well. She never worked on the show again once she got back on solid food and returned home." POST PRODUCTION. Tom Baker recorded a voice over for episode three when it was discovered that it under ran. He says; "Buy HP Sauce. It's as rich and brown as my voice and it's great with sausages." John Pettigrew (jjp@cableinet.co.uk> 11/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave Yadallee: >Looking at who we have now, I wish some people who gave up on radw would >return. I know what you mean. They should have ended r.a.d.w. back before the introduction of colour, and let it go out on a high. These days there is no real character, everyone has lost the plot and is only interested in smart one-liners. It's descending into pantomime, I tell you! Danny Gooley (dgooley@deetya.com> 11/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Shard Scatterstar (shard@dimensional.com> wrote: >Romana, I think, could've pulled off Tom Baker's outfit... And very likely did! SaulChurch (saulchurch@aol.com> 12/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert D. Franks (TelesnapGuy@compuserve.com> wrote: >>Hell, what about the 'Caves' tape. I never knew television making could be >>so boring. Marcus Durham (Marcus@zenn.demon.co.uk> wrote: >Yes, but on the upside you get extra footage of Nicola Bryants cleavage >during the regeneration! Well actually, given the quality of the >recording all I could see were these two pink figures. I think one of >them was Peter. Nicola named one of her ... um ... norgs, Peter? Elsa Frohman (elsaf@pipeline.com> 12/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: Dr Who TIEs] No Mr Meglos, I don't care if you are carrying your dodecahedron with you this evening, but no-one gets into the Quatre Saison de Zolpha-Thura without a Ti. Ah I see Commander Grugger has arrived. Where can he sit, d'you say? Well, looking at the mood he's in this evening, anywhere he wants to. No, I'm sorry Mr Meglos. We're full. Fitting you in at this stage would be an impossibility. No, not the ultimate impossibility. Goodness me, some of our customers can be a bit spiky. Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net> 16/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: Gareth Roberts' Computer] Rob Stradling (templar@leonardo.netcetera.co.uk> wrote: >Gary Russell's computer is a Sony 'My First PC' with big red buttons and a >Fisher-Price printer. And it's full of "MicroChips" and the hard drive has been "programmed" in ALGOL. This is so he can use it to access the "InterNet" "site", rec.arts.drwho. God, I'm cruel. Dave Owen (dave@meglos.demon.co.uk> 17/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Jon Blum (jblum@access1.digex.net> wrote: >I never knew Te Jene Rana in "Room" could teleport in a cloud of spangly >fairy dust! And where are the Purple Mountains for Jason to stand on, draw his swords and look at Te Jene, menacingly? Come to that, what the hell is Liza Minelli doing on the cover of 'No Future'? Why is the Seventh Doctor transfixed by Death's breasts on the cover of 'Timewyrm: Revelation'? Is the stress getting to Ace so much that she's gone grey by 'Cat's Cradle: Time's Crucible'? And why on Earth does the Eigth Doctor look like he's having an orgasm on the cover of 'The Dying Days' (actually, given the implications in the ending, I guess this one is justifed)? Gregg Smith (Eng6gcgs@aol.com> 17/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Saulchurch (saulchurch@aol.com> wrote: >>What's Marry Poppins got to do with Dr Who? >>Julie Andrews is not canon! Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net.antispam) wrote: >Supercargoesfasterintheplanetofthespiders ..TVMispopularbutgetsreplacedbysliders, Kaleddomeisonlyhometodavrosesandnyders, Thebestnewadventurescoverisdimensionriders! Om Mane Padme Hummulum Diddle-i, Om Mane Padme Hummulum Diddle-i, Of course, you can say it backwards, which is Radwersdebatethecanonicityofauthors, But that's going a little far, don't you think? Rob Stradling (phd@who.net> 19/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- DavidJudd wrote: > My, my. You're all so cuddly and chummy in here. Can I stay? Absolutely - pull up a chair and witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational newsgroup! :-) John Long (jlbc@epix.net> 19/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: WAKE UP ONE SIZE SMALLER!] If you had told me a year ago that I would be marketing a product that claims it will remove two inches of fat in 24 hours, I would have laughed. THEN I WATCHED TIME-FLIGHT That gel just poured out of my nose, and before I knew it, I didn't need to wear that dreadful Khalid disguise any longer. And for stubborn fat, there's always the Tissue Compression Eliminator (tm, patent pending). Peter Anghelides (topsham@ibm.net> 20/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: TIMES ARTICLE ABOUT BBC BOOKS - NEW COMPANION!] LONDON - BBC Books has announced that a new companion will be joining the TARDIS crew in the company's successful line of Doctor Who novels. Following in the footsteps of Nicole Bryant, Kenny will be an American from Colorado who perpetually wears an anorak. "We've gotton letters that this is some sort of slam against Doctor Who fans, but we'd like to assure them this is not the case," says DW editor, Stephen Cole. Kenny won't be an ordinary companion, though. The character will be killed off every novel, only to inexplicably return alive the next one. "We feel that introducing this sort of regularity to the series will help people become comfortable with the series, maybe even buying the next book just to see how Kenny dies." The new member will first meet up with the Doctor in the upcoming novel, "Seeing I." According to co-author Kate Orman, "The title is, in fact, an in-joke refering to Kenny's manner of death." Already, big plans are being made for him. Terrance Dicks plans to kill Kenny off, not once, not twice, but three times in his next book. "This will be a one time event, something not likely to happen again," says Dicks. What about Samantha Jones, the current assistant to Doctor Who? "She's still going to be a part of the crew." There could be romance between the two. "Things will never get very far though because he keeps dying." Cole hopes the new companion will prove successful. "Only time will tell," he says with a smile. Micheal (Chris) Keane (aexia@u.washington.edu> 23/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael S. Tumilty (Tumilty@worldnet.att.net> wrote: >>How many RADWers does it take to screw in a light bulb? David Atkins (david118@mdx.ac.uk> wrote: >Depends on whether you consider lightbulbs canon or not. It matters a bit more exactly how large the lightbulb is, and how many RADWers you think would fit inside. Elsa Frohman (elsaf@pipeline.com> 27/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Subject: Re: Top Five Sexiest Companions - a new JL Poll] #1. Kamelion #2. K9 Mark 1 #3. K9 Mark 2 #4. K9 Mark 3 #5. The hatstand Robert Smith? (smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca> 29/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael S. Tumilty (Tumilty@worldnet.att.net> wrote: >How many RADWers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 to state that 40 watt globes suck 5 to ask for reasons why the 40 watt globes suck 6 to respond that the 40 watt globes are childish, inferior and aren't very bright 8 to reply that all those characteristics occur with the 60 watt globes as well 15 to yell that the 60 watts are the best and how dare anyone hate them 35 to try and explain that the original 8 were simply applying the same arguments to the 60 watts as the 40 watts 112 to post reasons the 40 watts are the same as the bulbs used on the Power rangers 264 to suggest that exactly these arguments could be applied to the 60 watt bulbs as well 339 to killfile those posters because they hate the 60 watts, which everyone knows are the best 525 to try and explain that they were merely responding to the first poster who said exactly the same thing 692 to request in vain that the discussion be taken to email 750 to flame everyone involved because that's not what this newsgroup is about 825 to state that they should just ignore this thread 932 to claim that they like 40 *and* 60 watt globes 1028 to vote in a poll to determine which one is better 1 to state that people who like 40 watt globes enjoy light for all the wrong reasons Robert Smith? (smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca> 30/9/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Brad Filippone (al019@chebucto.ns.ca> wrote: >Which raises the queestion once again of where Susan came from? The Stork of Rassilon? William December Starr (wdstarr@crl.com> 3/10/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Mawdryn Undead vs The Five Doctors et al] In article (343416f0.6396581@news.erols.com> you write: Charles Daniels (charlesd@calweb.com> wrote: >But the Doctor has touched himself often..so why can't Brigadier? Because then he'd go blind. Greg McElhatton (icedrake@erols.com> 4/10/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Patricia and/or Donald Gillikin wrote: >Well, Sarah did point and run her finger along her teeth and then point >to her hair, thus giving the Doctor the vital clues that the Doctor >needed to stumble onto the description "Teeth and curls". >It's not too difficult when you think about it. unless sarah was trying to indicate that he had spinach stuck between his teeth, and his wig was sliping. Chris (cfieldho@dev.tivoli.com> 4/10/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ken Mann wrote: >And so we come back to the point that always comes up when this thread >is rerun. Fans divide into those who want the Doctor to be human, and >those who want him to be alien. You'd think they could find a way to compromise, eh? :) Daniel Frankham (danielf@merlin.net.au> 6/10/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dangermouse wrote: >Seriously, what gets me is how the two factions tend to be Pertwee/McCoy. >Why don't we see flamewars between, say, Hartnell fans and Davison fans? Or >Michael Wisher fans and Terry Molloy fans? Etc. >Why is it Pertwee/McCoy? Because "Pratt/Beevers" would cause too much snickering and scatological comment for the flamers to keep up the necessary level of hostility. Corey Klemow (CKlemow@compuserve.com> 7/10/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- John Long (jlbc@epix.net> said: >Are you deliberately stating your opinions as facts or are you just >too stupid to know the difference between them? Thanks a lot, John. I paid good money for that Ironymeter, and here you've gone and reduced it to a puddle of molten slag. William December Starr (wdstarr@crl.com> 9/10/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Andrew Raymond (drandrewho@aol.com> wrote: >Also, anyone who'd like to speak up now and claim to have lost their >virginity to a Doctor Who actor can right now. >PS. For any Doctor Who actors listening in, I'm still a virgin ;-) And in other news, Andrew Raymond, aka DrAndrewho, recieved a surprising and delightful visit from Brian Blessed today... Ben Varkentine (saulchurch@aol.com> 9/10/97 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert Smith? (smithrj2@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca> wrote: >Then again, perhaps he had a mathematician of his own who allowed him >a bit of a glimpse into the *next* Cyberman story...you know, the one >where the Cybermen are so vulnerable to Au they keel over just by >Sylvester walking up to them and saying "Gold!" in a stern voice? :-) I loved this image! Suddenly I see a Cyberleader with his hands over his ears, and McCoy bouncing around yapping; "GOLD! GOLD!" Cyb; "La-la-la I can't hear you!" Doc; "GOLD!" Cyb; "Ugh! Agh! Ooooh, Crikey!" Doc; "GOLD!" Cyb; "Ow! I'm not well..." Passing Dalek; "Oh, what evil times are these, when timelords can say 'Gold' at defenceless old Cybermen!" Rob Stradling (phd@who.net> 9/10/97 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
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