Comic Relief 1999
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The One Hundred Sixty-Fourth Entry In The Charles Daniels Programme Guide O' Certain Death Special thanks to Comic Relief, Moffat, and everyone SERIAL CR99 - Doctor Who And The Curse of Fatal Death The Ninth Doctor invites The Master to a deserted planet which was once home to the most peace loving race in the universe. There he tells the Master that he is to retire and marry his companion Emma. The Master so disgusted by this he plays out long elaborate games with the Doctor proving that at one time they had both seen Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Aided by the Daleks the Master nearly has the Doctor exterminated. As events occur the Daleks merely capture the Doctor instead of killing him and offer to explain later. The Daleks have augmented the Master with superior Dalek technology, resembling firm breasts. The Doctor then discovers that the Daleks plan to betray the Master after he assists them and with quick thinking communicates with the Master via a dead language of gastric emissions. The Daleks go shoot 'em up crazy and the Doctor goes through lives like firelighters. Eventually he is exposed to energies too strong for even a time lord to survive. With the death of the Doctor the Master and the Daleks renounce their evil ways. In a miracle of the universe the Doctor regenerates into the form of a woman! Sadly this new female Doctor is rejected by her fiancee Emma. The Master and the Doctor look into each other's eyes and fall immediately in love, walking off together into new and unimaginable, probably unairable, adventures. Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who And The Curse of Fatal Death (cover by Steven Hill) Fluffs - Atkinson, Grant, Broadbent, Grant, and Lumley seemed shortlived for most this story Fashion Victims - The Master's Dalek bumps Goofs - This whole thing was goofy if you ask me! Technobabble - Apparently with certain types of beams it is possible to conquer the entire universe in a matter of minutes, but that will be explained later I gather Links - Deadly Assassin, Douglas Adams' retirement concept, music from all over Doctor Who history, 4th Doctor style credits. Dialogue Disasters - The long drawn out "Spikes of doom vs Chair of Reasonable Comfort" and architect bribing banter. Dialogue Triumphs - "Your Certain Death shall be......CERTAIN!" "They discovered fire." "I recently calculated that I have saved every planet in the universe a minimum of 27 times." "624 years in a sodding sewer!" "Look after the universe for me - I've put a lot of work into it..." "Doctor, listen to me, you can't die! You're too nice. Too brave, too kind and far, far too silly. You're like Father Christmas, the Wizard of Oz. Scooby Doo! And I love you very much and we *all* NEED you and you simply-*CANNOT*-die! "He was never cruel and *never* cowardly. It'll never be safe to be scared again." "It's impossibe! Beyond all known laws of the universe!" "Maybe even the universe can't bear to be without the Doctor..." "Oh look it's got 3 speeds!" "Why Do they call you the Master?" "I'll explain later! BWHAHAHAHA!!" Viewers' Quotes - "Episode four was by far the best and should start a few pulses racing." - John Carlson "Within the space of twenty four hours, more Fatal Death .sig files seem to have come into existence than DiT has had in the last five years. Something to do with practically every other line of Moffat's being quotable, I suppose." - Simon Simmons "I always wondered if the sonic screwdriver could be used in the way the final Doctor intends.... :)" "Absolutely. I've always thought that since Ian Marter's novelisation of Sontaran Experiment, when he goes to great lengths to mention how much Sarah notices it vibrating in her hand..." - Steve Manfred & David McIntee "I know it was choc-full of funny lines and was *only* a charity sketch... but some of these lines (in context) brought a tear to my eyes." - John Pettigrew Rumors & Facts - Doctor Who And The Curse of Fatal Death aired in 4 parts on BBC 1 the night of March 12th, 1999. What made this broadcast so unique in Doctor Who history was that for the first time fans from all over the planet earth could watch it live in streaming video. I myself enjoyed watching with frames that updated once or twice an episode. I was thrilled to get out my microscope and what this piece of Who history as it occurred. Doctor Who and the Curse of Fatal Death is beyond all doubt canon of course. The Lumley Doctor will have books out immediately. 5 New Handbooks will be released for Atkinson, Grant, Broadbent, Grant, and Lumley. All of these books will be 4.99 UK Pounds and give detailed frame by frame analyses of each Doctor's tenure. Even with this extensive coverage the books will still be only about 3 paragraphs long. All of those people who have written McGann EDAs will of course be laughed at by the BBC and either asked to update their tales to a love story between LumleyDoc and her lover The Master OR shift their books into a PDA. The first Rowan PDA will be named "Doctor Who And Blackadder Go Forth", the second will be "Doctor Who Goes To College With Mr. Bean" and eventually a book will be written to introduce Emma so RowanDoc will snuff it as seen in COFD. Even Grant, Broadbent, and Grant PDAs are being seriously considered but these will either be called "The Broadbent Doctor was off camera in frame 22495 and therefore could have had an exciting adventure with the Daleks before being back in shot" or "Screw Continuity, We Want Another Book Series". The history and the making of Doctor Who and the Curse of Fatal Death is a long and interesting one, but I'll explain later.