The Reign of Error

An alternate Programme Guide by Charles Daniels

Eighth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O' Revolution
Special Thanks to me for reusing some of my own old material and making this
a lot easier

Serial H - The Reign of Error -

1. A Land of Beer              4. The Tyrant of Pants
2. Guests of Madame Georgie    5. A Bar Tab of Necessity
3. A Change of Sexuality       6. Prisoners of Counterfeit

The TARDIS lands in a swampy slimy dirty pond.  The Doctor ASSURES them
that they've landed in some sewage water in England 1963 but they
don't believe his story that they've landed in the Thames.  They are
in fact two miles from Philadelphia, during the Revolutionary War
where both King George and George Washington are enforcing and fighting
a Reign of Error.
Walking into the city they are surprised to find a large horde of
drunken colonists who spend far too much time placing women's knickers
on lines and trading them back and forth.  The cover story is that
it is a secret code to confuse the British however when confronted
most of them admit they don't really have any such code but it would
be a really neat idea and gives them some excuse to go about stealing
women's dirty washing.
Due to the disturbing and disgusting nature of the town's people it does
not take a long time for the Doctor to get entangled in local events and
separated from his companions. While Barbara, Ian, and Susan do something
sensible and get imprisoned as rebel spies immediately, the Doctor takes
on the role of a government official.  He is able to fool everyone into
thinking he is a man of important status in the Colonies by wearing a
Gingham Dress, speaking in a slurry accent and being followed around by a
blonde woman in a leather cat suit.
Using his elderly looks and disposition he convinces George
Washington, who is actually a wild eyed Texan much to everyone's
surprise, that his battle plans for Independence might just be helped
if he started to attack the British troops. At first skeptical George
(or, as his friends know him, Georgie Baby) starts to actually win
battles. While he is away the Doctor poses in his place in many
paintings, one of which is used as the basis for the One Dollar Bill.
While enjoying being the mastermind of the American Revolution he
totally forgets his companions who are left to break out of jail
themselves and join a group of rebels who still aren't convinced this
whole "attacking the enemy" scheme will work. Thankfully when they all
meet to discuss their actions they get confused and kill each other
thus wiping out a rather confusing hindrance to the Revolution.

Overlooking a beautiful expanse of open country and planning to build
America's first shopping center complete with fancy dress shops,
beauty parlours and a Dog Psychiatrist's Office, the Doctor is
kidnapped by his companions who force him back to the TARDIS against
his will.   After pleading that he be allowed to stay as he can
help the revolution, establish a more perfect union of democracy
and freedom and MOST importantly spend more time with the blonde
woman in the leather cat suit, his companions allow him to hand over
some of his plans for America's future to his new and trusted friend
Benedict Arnold who seems very eager to look them over right away.

The Doctor then travels to 1966 New York and is arrested for
passing off counterfeit bills that show a Marty Feldmen look-alike
instead of the real George Washington.

Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who And The Reign of Error
                        The Declaration of Independence: Remastered Edition
                        Politics And You - An Express Guide To Apathy

Fluffs -  Hartnell seemed confused for most of this story
           "I see you haven't heard the naa..naaa..nevermind I haven't
            heard it either"

           "Hmmm..hmmm...walk like an encryption..."

           "You think just because King George is fighting the British
            soldiers that George Washington will give them their freedom?!
            I dare say not!  Indeed he's a looney and besides he's not

Fashion Victims -  Ian's comment on Barbara's hair "Damn! Did A cat die?"

Goofs - The Doctor can be heard humming "Walk Like An Egyptian" well
        before the TARDIS appears in the pond.  When the TARDIS does
        land the sound of a toilet flushing replaces the usual
        materialization sound effect.
        The knickers found by Ian on the clothesline after he escapes
        fit him perfectly.  The dying prisoner tells Ian about "The
        Drunken Bastard Inn" and his friend Jim Bob Greenbo, however
        Ian remembers "The Mermaid's Naughty Bits Tavern" and Lucy Lacy.
        Ian refers to everyone in this story by the name of various famous
        porn stars, seemingly at random with no justification given as
        to why.
        This story is not only historically inaccurate, it is hysterically

Dialogue Disasters -

INSANE REBEL: Right!  So it's agreed, none of this 'acting the enemy'
              nonsense, and back the good old fashion killing each

IAN: Can't we all just get along?

SUSAN: So wait, you say if I join your silly little revolution I get
       to blow things up?  Right, I'm game.

SUSAN: (Patronizing)  Ohhh!  I'm sorry did I crack your little bell???
        HAHAHA!!  Take this buster!!!

Dialogue Triumphs -

THOMAS JEFFERSON: I say my dear Doctor, I've finished the first draft
                  of my "Declaration Of Being Independent From The British
                  Wankers And the Reasons Why We Wish To Be" and I think
                  it's rather good, let me read you some excerpts...

THOMAS JEFFERSON: ...there comes a time in the course of human events
                  to say "British Wankers?  Who needs them??"....

THOMAS JEFFERSON: ...every man has the inalienable rights to freedom,
                  liberty, and the pursuit of kinky sexual relations
                  with interns, we find these rights to be pretty damned

The story ends with a mug shot scene of the cast and the now famous
Doctor voice over: "What we did was pretty bad, someone's going to
have to pay for it, someone's going to end up in prison for a long
long time and it isn't going to be me..."

References and Links -
Reference is made to the Doctor's previous attempts to get Barbara
and Ian back to England ('Michael Palin'), the cell reminds Barbara
of their imprisonment in 'An Unruly Child', she says she remembers
how to use explosives 'The Lab Techs', it is no surprise she remembers
as it was just the other week!  And most importantly all four of them,
Ian, Barbara, The Doctor, and Susan comment "how could we ever forget
the Masochists of Leather!" (see Rumors & Facts)

Rumors & Facts -
For the Season One ender it was decided that something really special
should be done, and yet they made this anyway. Luckily, this is one of
partially missing stories that was burnt when 'BURN IT' was taken over
by extremely incompetent pyromaniacs who sadly forgot to burn episodes
One through Three. Episode Six was later recovered on a small Greek
island, which was then immediately sunk into the sea to prevent any
chance of further recoveries.
For years rumors would float around claiming this story was a wonderful
classic, money would be handed out, books and magazine articles written
and to some degree it was a special story.  For instance it differs
from earlier historicals as it actually takes place during well known
historical events instead of just with a bunch of weirdos in the 1980s.
This story also caused great confusion due to the scene where the cast
reminiscence at length and with loud laughs between each other about a
story that was never shown, The Masochists of Leather.   The Masochists
of Leather was to be the second story in the series that was then
pushed back to make room for The Dustbins and pushed back again and
again until it could no longer be used.  Unlike the Reign of Error
the Masochists of Leather was an intriguing and very interesting story
which would have been hailed as a classic, and I'm not just writing
this because I happened to have owned the company that was to provide
the costumes for the Masochists but as a completely objective writer
of this programme guide!   True the Reign of Error DID get on the air
with those god awful costumes that were designed by my vile competitor
Shawcraft!  Shawcraft's men mishandle more than their over price props
I can assure you!  It's all well documented I assure you, I just don't
have the documentation at hand.  Anyway, the blurb for the Masochists,
the story that should have been made, is:
"The Wait is Over...A dark and silent leather parlour...a magnificent
crystal 'edifice' if you know what I mean and I think you do, perched
and ready for action.  A legion of dormant masochists, waiting for the
stinging to make them scream.  The Doctor, his granddaughter Susan,
and their reluctant companions, Ian and Barbara, are about to unleash
forces which with threathen their very sanity by just being TOO MUCH
Anyway, it is not known precisely WHY this scene was in the Reign of
Error making reference to the Masochists of Leather.  Some people
believe that the story was written under the assumption that this story
would have aired after the MoL, other speculate that it was written
in during some earlier draft and it was a mere oversight.  My personal
theory, the correct one, is that this scene was written in to confuse
the audience and allow for the creation of a series of books about the
Missing Adventures of Doctor Who in precisely 30 years time to be
published by Virgin and then later by the BBC itself.  This shows
the amazing foresight that the series had, except in those cases were
episodes were burnt or lent out to shows like "Red Handed Thieves Hour"
or "Finders Keepers".