Galaxy Fun

An alternate Programme Guide by Charles Daniels

Eighteenth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O'

Serial T - Galaxy Fun -

1. Four Hundred Broads    3. Card Hock
2. Trick Of Feel          4. The Exploding Present

The Dropdeadgorgeous and the UglyBastards are stranded on a planet
in Galaxy Fun.  The Doctor finally sees his chance to get some
and decides to help the Dropdeadgorgeous babes dominate the universe.
Steven and Vicki warn the Doctor that the Dropdeadgorgeous are evil
warriors maidens bent on universal conquest even more than the Dustbins,
however the Doctor already knows that but doesn't give a toss.
Vicki and Steven help the Uglybastards much to the Doctor's annoyance
as he is making precise calculations of the physics that makes the
Dropdeadgorgeouses' bust size possible.
However all is not as it seems.  The Doctor is taken to a giant
"preparation" room where he believes he will enter the Dropdeadgorgeous
orgy sphere, but instead salad and raw carrots are flung at him!
The Doctor is to end up as stew!  Apparently the Dropdeadgorgeous
are tired of their diet of twigs and leaves and want some real food.
The Doctor assures them he will taste gamey, yucky and old but no
one much pays attention.  It seems the entire population has bulimia
and figure he won't be with them long enough much to care.
Finally the Doctor is saved when one of the Uglybastards comes
around looking for a date and all attention is focused on mocking him.
Escaping away from the hungry alien women he meets up with the
Uglybastards and tries to come onto one of them but his heart really
isn't into it.
It turns out that Dropdeadgorgeous plan to steal the Uglybastard's
ship and leave the planet which about to explode.  The Doctor
considers the moral implications of leaving a race of beautiful
space vixens to die in the destruction of an entire planet and
momentarily feels guilty until he remembers that he didn't get
any.  From that moment on he is dedicated on helping the Uglybastards

Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who In Galaxy Fun
                        Babes Of Galaxy Fun - Glossy Wanker Edition
                        Doctor Who's Adventures In Doin' The Nasty Vol. 3

Fluffs - Hartnell seemed confused for most of this story
         Maaga: Will you help us now?
         Doctor: Oh ahh, yes, of course I've been busted..I mean
                 I must voluptu..volunteer..I must come around to
                 helping you, yes, but I prefer moutains to walking

Fashion Victims -  The Dropdeadgorgeous may look nice but their
                   large collared outfits with armour plating
                   and multi-layered cloth with large poofy..
                   OKAY!  OKAY!  The outfits don't really look
                   that bad, they look kinda neat in an alien
                   fashion kinda' way but why can't we get
                   scantily clad space vixens??   Can't they
                   have some super skimpy battle bikinis?
                   Where is the justice?

Goofs - The Dropdeadgorgeous and the Uglybastards both speak
        english even though they are both from a galaxy far
        far away long long ago.  Maybe they should speak
        alien languages but then this story would be even
        less sensible that it is now and there would be lots
        of annoying books on how to speak "Babese" and
        "Uglybastardon" and we should keep that to Star Trek.

Technobabble - The Doctor explains that the Dropdeadgorgeous
               bust line grows via a mysterious force he
               calls the "fun time expansion theory".

Dialogue Disasters -

MAAGA: The Dropdeadgorgeous will conquer space.  We will
       hold the universe in our vile grip.  All will be
       subservient to us.
DOCTOR: Oh thank god!

STEVEN: (Whispering) Listen. I can't hear a thing!
DOCTOR: Exactly, exactly. You're deaf my boy you can't hear. I
        have the ears of a mountain gorilla.
STEVEN: Eh?  What are you on about?
DOCTOR: What? I didn't hear you.

DOCTOR: (Annoyed) My dear young man, this isn't a joy ride! This
        is a scientifically kinky expedition!
STEVEN: Oh come off it, Doctor! You can't be scientific all the time.
        Anyway, uh, you look as if you could do with a good quickie.

DOCTOR: I say you look rather sexy for, no, I can't do it,
        you really are an Uglybastard, dear me.

Dialogue Triumphs -

DOCTOR: Importance lies in character, and what use is made of intelligence.
        But getting some ain't bad either!  Now go away, I've got to
        fix the Kinkitron for the Dropdeadgorgeous.

Dropdeadgorgeous MAAGA: You realise I am your leader and dominate you?
Dropdeadgorgeous #3:  Yes Maaga.
DDG MAAGA: You realise we must have lots of dialogue that has subtle
           bondage and submission overtones, don't you?
DDG #3: Of course Maaga, that is without question Mistress, if you
        say it is true.
DDG MAAGA: If you do not follow me, obey my orders, you will be punished.
DDG #3: Happily Maaga.

Rumors & Facts -
It has often been said that Galaxy Fun represents a brave and bold
leap forward in the diversity of Doctor Who.  The audience at the
time was delighted to see the Doctor give up all pretence of morals
and correct conduct in the hilarious and boundless quest to finally
get some.  However again the Doctor fails completely leaving him
to try for immoral adventures elsewhere.  The modern fan is more
inclined to believe the various myths about this story - such as
that the Doctor lands on the notorious planet of the nymphomaniacs
in this story, which, sadly for everyone, simply isn't true.
Also there is more appreciation for Vicki's extreme frustration
as everyone is falling head over heels for the Dropdeadgorgeous
and she is repeatedly mistaken for a young boy.
Even though most of this story is missing, a secret X-rated clip
was stored away by some hard core fans (hard core fans of Doctor
Who or fans of hard core simply isn't known at the moment)
and has recently been returned to Sleeve Boberts and will be
released in an upcoming video release[1].
It is rumored that one of the Dropdeadgorgeous was a famous
Hungarian pornographic film star who was later jailed for
inappropriate conduct with a rubber hose, this is not completely
true as she is Austrian and it was later determined that the
rubber hose in question did not have any objections to their
scandalous relationship.

[1] This has been included due to the extreme currentness of this
    news, thus insuring this guide will be comically out of date
    within a matter of months.