Pissin' On the Unknown

An alternate Programme Guide by Charles Daniels

Nineteenth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O'
Licenced To Kill

Serial TA - Pissin' On The Unknown -

1. Pissin' On the Unknown

The setting is the planet Kipple, which is quickly filling up with
shredded documents and general thrash from the Space Special Security
Service.  Agent Max McCoy Starkiller is sent to figure out why the
planet is so unnervingly tidy after they've done their best to mess
it up as per usual.  Almost at once disaster strikes; his crew are
cleaned to death one by one by giant green scrub pads which infest
the planet.  But what Max McCoy Starkiller discovers is rather damned
obvious to the viewers at home: The Dustbins are present in force on
Kipple and their intention is to unify tidy alien races to wipe out
humans.  The planet Kipple is perfect for Dustbins as no matter
how many times they clean it it just gets dirtier and dustier.
Max McCoy Starkiller is subjected to mini-vac torture until he dies
but a tape containing the information he gathered survives.
This is an unusual one episode story, does not feature the Doctor
or any of the regular cast, and serves merely to confuse people
trying to follow the episodes week to week.

Book(s)/Other Related -  Where The Hell Is Doctor Who?
                         Dustbins Planet Kipple Colouring Book For
                         Children and Sad Fan Collectors
                         Dustbins On The Planet Kipple - The Musical
                         Record LP

Fluffs - Hartnell seemed absent for all of this story

         Dustbin: I am a Dustbun!  HMM!  Where the hell
                  is Doctor WHO??

Fashion Victims -  Max McCoy Starkiller looks like an ultra convincing
                   secret agent except for his goofy fish shaped tie
                   with blinking lights for eyes

Goofs - The Dustbins announce their super secret, must not fall
        into enemy hands, plans on their city loud speakers, CNN,
        and the Daily Mirror - somehow Max McCoy Starkiller doesn't
        hear of a word of it until the last minute

Technobabble - The Dustbins note that Max McCoy Starkiller as
               a "Cleanability Factor of Five".

Dialogue Disasters -

Starkiller: Space Security Service, licenced to kill, destroy,
            annihilate, exterminate, eradicate, and terminate.
            You know, that sort of cool stuff AND I get the
            bitchin' Porsche.

Dialogue Triumphs -

DUSTBIN: Tidy And Clean!  Clean And Mean!  The Dustbins Will Rule All!

Rumors & Facts -

This was indeed a confusing story.  It was a one week cutaway from
the main stories and thus was mistakenly identified as "Urine Cutaway".
This all comes from the fact that Max McCoy Starkiller, faced with
no other alternative to rebellion decides the least he can do is
to take the piss with the Dustbins, literally.  Urinating on a
Dustbin is seen as a great insult and thus explains the cruel fashion
in which Starkiller is killed.
Again there were rumors that the Doctor had a long last been gotten
rid of like everyone else in the cast to this point, however much
to the disappointment of rabid Starkiller fans he never returned
mysteriously from the dead with no explanation like just about every
villain in Doctor Who history.
It was long rumored the Production code T/A was for Galaxy Fun and
while this would make a hell of a lot of sense, it isn't factually

(Disclaimer: Not be be taken seriously or orally, if rash occurs stop
touching there or contact the Doctor)