Furry And Deep

An alternate Programme Guide by Charles Daniels

Forty-Fourth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O'
Gettin' Dumped
Special Thanks To Gary Wilkins for some additional material

Serial RR - Furry And Deep  -

 The TARDIS arrives on the seacoast and immediately the Doctor desires
to go surfing.  The Doctor is an abhorrent failure with his surfboard
and ends up nearly drowning. He claims he forgot his water wings and
tries to swim back to the floating TARDIS, but he gets mistaken for a
killer whale by a group of Norwegians.   After a frantic escape by
canoe Jamie, The Doctor, and Victoria arrive on a nice sunny beach.
They see a giant super sud ball from a local launders and throw
Victoria in it for a bit of kinky fun.
They are soon captured by crazed Laundry Cleaners who believe these
three hooligans have been messing with their pipes.  The Launderette
boss, Frank The Drug Pusher, blames them for his employees failing
to show up for work, for taking coins out of the machines, and for
taking free rides in the tumble dryers.  The Doctor claims he can
hear an infernal "heartbeat" from the depths of the laundry mountain
in the back, but this is merely because of a contact high.
The TRUE cause of the evil is a parasitic weed, which absorbs
Human brains and transforms men into Weed creatures.   The
Weed, exhaling happy fun time toxic gases, launches an attack on
the Lauderette whilst they all go out for some munchies.
Victoria breaks into fits of screaming laughter and accidentally
kills one of the weed creatures.  The Doctor realises the super weed
can be killed by high-frequency annoying laugh fits.
After killing all the Weed creatures the Doctor immediately tries to
go back to shagging Victoria.   Victoria decides that she's had enough
with the Doctor and Jamie trying to shag her and she decides to stay with
Frank the Drug Pusher and help him in his dream to leave the Launderette
behind and invest in a roller disco.
After she goes, The Doctor adds "Now, I am more repressed than ever! What
am I going to do? Jamie? I DON'T think so!"
 The TARDIS leaves and Jamie sulks about having to go to bed alone and
he decides to go somewhere private, which is just about anywhere in the
amazingly large TARDIS.

Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Mysterio El Loser-Rama Singlo Bastardo
                        Not Getting Any: The End of the Victorian Era
                        I Was A Doctor Who Laundry Man

Fluffs - Troughton seemed bloodshot for most this story

Fashion Victims - Frank The Drug Pusher in his flashy gold medallions
                  and neon leisure suit

Goofs -  Jamie vomits into a basket of nasty laundry at the start of
         Episode 2. It was supposed to be edited out, but Troughton
         insisted that it be included, since he had doubled up with
         laughter at seeing young Frazer sick.
         The director, one Hugh "I've got too many first names in my name"
         David John Stephen Ralph, trips over one of the laundry baskets in
         Episode 2.  Troughton winces and keeps on acting, trying to bed
         young sweet, supple, gorgeous, hot, sexy...whoops Victoria.

Technobabble -  The Head of the Launderette, Frank, calls the spin dry
                process a "hot and supple greasing of linear hard poles."
                He winks at Victoria after he says this, suggesting to the
                viewer that Victoria and he go to his place for a bit of
                ... well... ahhh bouncy-bouncy??

Links -  Victoria says they are always landing on Earth: Jamie adds
         that it's always a BBC sound stage!

Dialogue Disasters -

DOCTOR: Oh my indeed, Cowabunga Dudes!

DOCTOR: It's down there, in the darkness, in the crackpipe...waiting.

DOCTOR: It's the Super Weed!  Super Weed!!  It's Super Weedy!!!

Dialogue Triumphs -

>From Episode 2:
FRANK: No one shows up for work, then you three arrive. One of you is cute,
       I must say...
DOCTOR (blushing): Oh, you're too kind...
FRANK: Not you!!

The classic:
DOCTOR: (Sees Victoria about to scream) AHHH! Don't scream, Victoria!
         Don't Scream! My ears!
VICTORIA: I have too. It's in my contract. (SCREAMS)
DOCTOR: Augh! My giddy aunt.
[NOTE: The Doctor originally says "Augh! My bloody ears" but the line was
edited because of the confusion that might ensue as to why Troughton's
ears weren't bleeding!]

And even more classic:
VICTORIA: Why can't we go somewhere pleasant?  Where there's no
          fighting, just peace and happiness?  Let's all get centred.
DOCTOR: That's the weed talking!

>From Episode 6:
(Inside the TARDIS- sad to see Victoria leaving)
JAMIE: Aye, let's blow this clambake, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Where should we 'blow' too?
JAMIE: I canna care less!
DOCTOR (smiles ruefully): I was fond of Victoria too, Jamie. Especially
when she wore that garter belt and stockings and looked like she was
dressed up like a lady of the evening....

>From Episode 6:
(The final realisation that Victoria is gone for good)
DOCTOR: You know what this means don't you Jamie?
DOCTOR: We've got to find someone else into free love!

Rumors & Facts -

Alternate working titles: "The Stupid Gits", "The Young Ones" (favoured by
until they realized they were going to name a future comedy series this),
and the rather confused "I Forget What This Story Is About".

It is heavily rumored that "Furry And Deep" was novelized in 1988 as the
shortest novel of Doctor Who. It was a picture of Victoria naked and the
words "This is what you missed if you didn't see it the first time."
Unfortunately, it had a limited print run.  So if you have this please
send it to me right away so I can confirm it's existence.

A caller phoned the BBC after Episode 1 aired and asked how much longer
William Hartnell was going to wear that Beatles wig. The Beeb hung up on

Deborah Watling leaves her role in this story, to Troughton and Hines
dismay. Troughton threatened to turn himself into a fish if she wasn't
kept, but the introduction of Wendy Padbury in the next serial "The Sheep
in Spandex" made him forget about it.

Deborah is also listed in Doctor Who- The Sexties as "the hottest scream
queen".  It also listed her as a prude who had some silly ideal about not
having sex "until she married." Troughton reportedly told her "I Am
 Watling replied, "But I am not married to you!"
 He responded: "You could be!" 

Victor Pemberton (the author) changed his name (and something else) to
Victoria in hopes of getting some right after this show aired in 1968.

Wendy Padbury audtioned for the next series during the screening of
Furry And Deep Episode 2. She stripped naked and gave a performance
of the "can-can" on her...well... can, and she was written into contract
on the day before Episode 3 aired.

Wendy Padbury did a cameo, appearing as El Wendie-O! doing the can-can
naked in Episode 6 on the insistence of Producer Peter "Shagged Out"
Bryant and Script Thrasher Sherwin-Williams. It was edited out, however,
due to BBC policy of new stars appearing before their debut (even if they
were in a different role) rather than the baseless rumour that it was her
nudity that did it.

The Launderette workers were each given a complete episode as payment.
Unfortunately, they burned the lot of them when they realized what a
wanker of a show it was.

Rumours abounded that a complete copy of "Furry And Deep" existed
in a collectors' archive. No substantiantion could be ascertained. They
might have seized it to get a last look at Victoria's bottom. It might
still exist in whole. A complete audio recording, unfortunately, did
survive. Check out Web site http://www.bbcwankers.com/trulyawfulwho.html
for more details.

This story is the debut appearance of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver,
used the unbuckle Victoria's belt in episode 1.

Victoria's character returns in the BBC videodrama "Down-on-her Time".