: Vacation on Earth 2150AD

An alternate Programme Guide by Charles Daniels

Thirty-First Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O'

Film 2 - Dustbins: Vacation On Earth 2150AD -

Earth is an eerie and tidy place in 2150AD.  Subjected to
a ferocious Dustbin vacation, it has been bombarded with
scrub pads and fairy liquid.  It's cities have been cleaned
and human beings turned into living Dustmen.  Only a small
group of resistance slobs holds out in London.  But then
the brilliant scientist Dr. Who is transported into the
future by a cheap plot device.  He arrives determined to
destroy the Dustbins.  However the Doctor needs the help
of his companions - A police man named Bert and his
granddaughters Barbara and Susan.
The Dustbins seem indefeatable however no one pays serious
attention to Susan's various plans.  Due to their arrogance
Bert falls into Dustbin protuberances and becomes a dustman,
Barbara is captured and has to be saved an annoying amount of times,
Doctor Who himself almost gets made into a Dustman with a limp.
Susan realises that she might have to work on her own
to destroy the vile Dustbins once and for all.
Susan figures out the Dustbins one weakness - cheap lager.
If she can get them sick off cheap lager she will have them
right where she wants them.  She shares this information
with Doctor Who who refuses to pay her any attention.
Her older sister Barbara tells her she's just a stupid kid
and should leave the real work up to the adults.
This is the last straw.  Susan sneaks into a Dustbin weapons
factory and steals a machine gun.  With her machine gun she
robs a 7-11 for all their cheap watery ale.
Doctor Who and Barbara are trying to destroy the Dustbins
by organising a peace rally which will politely ask the
Dustbins to leave before they wear out their welcome.
Sickened by this liberal pinko hippie crap Susan kills
all the demonstrators, the resistance slobs, blows away
Barbara and finally machine guns down Doctor Who himself.
Laughing at their short sighted stupidity she goes to Dustbin
head quarters and gives them cheap lager.  The Dustbins are so
mentally damaged by the bad booze they become mindless servants
of the young girl.  Susan then sets out to rule the earth.

Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who & The Granddaughter From Hell
                        Susan - Last Of The Bad Ass Time Ladies

Fluffs - Cushing seemed confused for most of this movie
         "I say Susan isn't an ammo belt a little old for
          someone your age?  Not To mention you're too young
          my child!"

         "And so the Dustmen have cleaned their last tidy
          clean thing that they've tidied."

         "Oh no!!  Where did I put my sugar puff sandwich?
          Sugar Puff sandwiches are vital for...eating."

Fashion Victims - Susan not only wears the infamous white head band
                  but a Rambo-like ammo vest

Goofs - Susan handles a machine gun amazingly well for a 12 year
        old girl, she can even shoot down enemies when the gun
        isn't loaded!  That's talent.

Technobabble - Susan explains that the Dustbins have a "Alcoholibity
               Factor of 12" and therefore can not handle the
               "hangover ions" that will bombard their mutant minds.

Dialogue Disasters -

DOCTOR WHO: So the Dustbins hold the Dustmen under their power?
            I should say that's kinky.

BERT: I'm a Police Officer. Remember kids, Police Are Your Friends
      and we only very rarely beat innocent people to death and
      there's no framing up people unless we can do it extra
      damn well.

BARBARA: Susan!  SUSAN!  You're always bugging us with your
         STUPID ideas!  'Doctor let's get the dustbins drunk',
         'Barbara stop selling your body for cornflakes',
         'Ian don't drink that sulphuric acid'.  It's always
         the SAME childish nonsense.  Now let us adults handle
         this. We know a lot more than you do!

DUSTBINS: Euurregh.  Whatever you say Susan.  We Obey. We Love
          Watery Ale.

Dialogue Triumphs -

SUSAN: Time to die Barbara!

DOCTOR WHO: Susan!  NO!  Not a machine gun!!
SUSAN: Of course it's a machine gun!
DOCTOR WHO: Wait!   Have I been that horrible of a grandfather?
            Did I fail you so much that you have no remorse over
            killing your dear old granddad?
SUSAN: Ahh, yeah.

SUSAN: I rule the Earth!  From this moment on there's
       going to be a lot more explosions around this place.

Rumors & Facts -

With the death of Doctor Who and the establishment of Susan Who
as the sole cruel heartless dictator of the earth there was nowhere
to go with sequels and for once in a science fiction film series
someone actually paid attention to that.  Never again would there
be a Doctor Who film.  He'd died in the hands of his own neglected
drug and violence loving 12 year old granddaughter who goes on a world
domination binge that would have made a young Drew Barrymore jealous.
Later on a book series "The Adventures of Susan" would explore
her fascist dominion over the earth with the aide of her Dustbin
servants starting with  "The Adventures of Susan #6: Warm Blood Cold
Heart" and running until her ultimate control of the universe in
"#16: Remembrance Of Susan".
It is rumored that Susan shows some remorse over killing her grandfather
however this is only hinted at in the elusive Director's Cut.  In
the Director's cut Susan steps on an orgami unicorn as she walks
away from Doctor Who's bullet ridden corpse.  This is apparently to
refer to an earlier scene that was also removed showing Susan dreaming
about good times with her grandfather on the planet of the unicorns.
This was definitely one of the bloodiest Doctor Who adventures
especially for it's time.  The movie was made all the more surreal
by playing cheery classical music during scenes of carnage, gunfire,
and burning cities.  Audiences had some forewarning about the
nature of the film.  The first scene shows Doctor Who, Bert, Barbara,
and Susan sitting around a table drinking LSD tainted milk.  This
is quickly followed by scenes from Dustbin ravaged 2150AD London
and the film picks up from there.  From this opening many people
have speculated that this entire film was a shared bad trip between
the main characters however this is never said or hinted at on screen
and either way everyone but Susan would obviously still be killed.
This theory would open up the room for a third film in which Susan
comes down from her trip out finds herself in a room full of dead
people, cheap ordinary common dustbins, and bad programmes on channel
five, however Roberta Tovey is MUCH older now so that would have
had to be one very intense hit.
Various visual, musical, thematic, and plot innovations in this film
were later blatantly copied and out right stolen by a series of later
lesser films such as A Clockwork Orange, Bladerunner, and Pulp Fiction.
In France the film was named "La Femme Susan".
The Russian title is literally "My Granddaughter With A Machine Gun"
This film was banned in Ireland.