> marcus durham
> >K9 is a pile of crap. :) :) :) :) :)
> I second this motion. >:-)
I turd it.
-- Andrew McCaffrey (fenric@clark.net), 31st January 1996
Subject: The new telemovie.
Brett O'Callaghan (boc@lin.cbl.com.au) wrote:
> >With a British producer, writer, director, and star, yeah, I can
> >see how you'd think that.
> Q: What is its primary market?
Oh, of *course*! It doesn't matter what the producer, writer, director and star do, as soon as an American views it, the celluoid will twist in upon itself and reform from a startlingly good peice of drama to a 3.5 hour long advertisement for U.S. Savings Bonds.
Andrew McCaffrey (fenric@clark.net), 1st February 1996
Dave the Dave wrote:
>
>Canada's Head of State is Queen Elizabeth II of Canada, God Save the Queen.
>
>USA's Head of State is a disciple of Satan, and so are ALL presidents
>which are heads of states!
I nominate David Yadallee for President of rec.arts.drwho.
-- E. Larry Lidz (ellidz@midway.uchicago.edu), 1st February 1996
Date: 1 Feb 1996 16:17:47 GMT
From: Peter Anghelides [anghelides@vnet.ibm.com]
Newgroups: rec.arts.drwho
Subject: Re: Katy Manning pic...yes THAT pic.....
alden@bates.wn.planet.gen.nz (Alden Bates) writes:
>Ian McIntire (imm@pop.cwru.edu) writes:
>>It's a little known fact that Mr. Bates was actually the Dalek that Ms.
>>Manning posed with. The photographer originally asked Alden to appear
>>naked as well, but cooler heads prevailed. Thankfully.
>Well, I _could_ have appeared naked, however you wouldn't have seen
>much past the Dalek shell... Besides, they weren't paying me
>enough as it is.
>
>Alden Bates. (Who was aged 4 at the time.)
So, not Mr Bates after all but, more appropriately, Master Bates.
-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 1st February 1996
I wonder if all Time Lords have fun little monikers, like net aliases: Theta Sigma - The Doctor (probably really called The Tasigmer) Jehosephat - The Master Mortimus - The Meddler Rassilon - The Goner Borusa - The Nutter Drax - The Burglar Lee Cornes - The Trickster Braxiatel - The Librarian Flavia - The Boss B.O.S.S. - The Computer Runcible - The Spoon Cornell - The Writer Gillatt* - The Editor (That's enough Time Lords - Ed.)
I got stuck on a real name for The Rani. Cross-series TV punsters among you might like to debate whether "Jackie Collins" or "Gay Search" would be more appropriate?
* A deeply wonderful and warm human being, and a bright and discerning young talent in the world of publishing, in case I haven't mentioned it in previous postings.
-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 1st February 1996
Greg T. Allinson wrote:
Gregg, Dave the Dave has gotten access to your account. I thought you
should know.
-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 2nd February 1996
[More from the A-Z of ROCK 'N' ROLL]
THE TALONS OF WANG CHUNG Followed up their big hit "Dance Hall Days" with
"Palace Theatre Nights" and vanished mysteriously in the fog.
MARK E. POLO "Yes-uh, Doct-uh you-uh can have your-uh Flying Caravan-uh back
when you return my wife-uh to me-uh. If-ah you lose-ah at backgammon-ah you
forfeit-uh our Peel Session-uh"
KIRK BRANDON'S SPEARHEAD OF DESTINY Oddly spurning both Autons and Daleks,
asked "Do you believe in the Westworld ?". Donald Cotton and Rex Tucker
obviously didn't.
JOHNNY KYDD AND THE SPACE PIRATES When Space Station Alpha 4 broke up, the
Doctor Jamie and Zoe were said to be "Shaking All Over". It says here.
TARDIS THE UNSTOPPABLE TIME MACHINE South London duo, comprising JimBob
and QueenBat. Made a "Fast Return" comeback tour recently.
ALPHACENTUARIVILLE Big, green, and phallic in Japan, apparently.
T-MAT BIANCO Mysteriously dematerialised after being verbally abused
on "Swap Shop". This is pathetic, isn't it ?
COOL WITH THE KAFTAN B A Robertson novelty sixties parody about being locked
in a frozen tomb with a mysterious middle-eastern woman.
21ST CENTURY SCHIZOID MAN King Crimson anthem to a Time Lord with multiple
personalities seen walking around Albert Square in 2023.
GENTLE GIANT Obscure prog-rock outfit whose line-up included Toberman, Grun,
Condo and Nimrod.
KHRISONGS OF FAITH AND DEVOTION Depeche Mode album conceived and recorded on
a retreat in Tibet.
THE PLASTIC - OH NO! BAND Ron Nasty and Chastity's reaction against Auton
invasions. They staged a "Shop In" to show that the people of the world
are little more than soulless mannequins.
THE TIME-TRAVELLING WILBERRIES A bunch of clapped out old farts plucked
from their respective time streams by the Time Lords to fight Omega. One
of them is now dead. And he was so ill then he had to phone his parts in.
NICK CAVES OF ANDROZANI AND THE BAD SPECIAL EFFECTS Australian
singer-songwriter and his band, hired to produce the Magma beast
in Peter Davison's final story. Don't give up the day job, lads.
DOG MAN STAR Suede album, dedicated to John Leeson.
COURTNEY'S LOVE HOLE An unfortunate typographical error that led to
the Brigadier actor being hired to perform indecent acts to entertain
the Reading Festival crowd in place of the ill-fated Seattle riot grrrl
band. You better believe it.
ZODIAC "THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD, EPISODES 5-8" AND THE LOVE REACTION
Their early success floundered after being forced to change their name
to one acceptable to Doctor Who Magazine.
NATHAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE "You ain't seen nothing yet. Stay tuned."
-- Dave Owen (dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk), 2nd February 1996
* I adore autographs, endorsements, marks and imprints: I'm a signature-phile *
-- Dave Owen (dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk), 2nd February 1996
David J. Howe (bfs@pavilion.co.uk) wrote:
INT INFERNO DRILLHEAD AFTERNOON
SIR KEITH and STAHLMAN study read-outs from the main computer. The
read-out clock says 72:43:09. Various TECHNICIANS in suits, ties, and
white lab coats putter in the background.
SIR KEITH
But... but it can't be!
STAHLMAN
I agree! That is totally impossible.
SIR KEITH
I simply don't understand. How could
the drill-head simply stop drilling?
STAHLMAN
Why has drilling stopped? What has happened
to my project??
VORUS enters the control room.
VORUS
My Skystriker! My glory!
VORUS dies. All APPLAUSE. Then, THE DOCTOR enters the room and
examines the computer readout.
THE DOCTOR
Great jumping jehosephat!! Gentlemen,
*that* is why drilling has stopped. You
have finally reached the bottom of
the barrel.
-- Jason A. Miller (JMILLER6@uoft02.utoledo.edu), 5th February 1996
Nick Eden (nick@pheasnt.demon.co.uk) wrote:
Yeah, them froggies. Only one thing on their minds...
-- Jean-Marc Lofficier (rjmlof@haven.ios.com), 11th February 1996
[More on that new telemovie:]
Mark
No. Even if you buy it on video it won't be allowed to appear on your TV
set. Sorry.
>Somehow I fear the new movie has a fairly high suck potential. I'm not
Oh, that's just the final, poetic scene, which involves the Doctor, his
tongue, Grace and her face.
*Very* high suck potential :-)
-- Robert Smith? (g9526329@mcmail.cis.McMaster.CA), 22nd February 1996
[Editor's note: the question mark is intentional (-:]
Date: Fri, 23 Feb 96 01:59:00 -0500
Harry Rags wrote on the subject of NAs:
To which Jen said:
Jon replied:
[And then:]
Well, Jen and Jon, I think I can come up with something to do with him that
wouldn't be treating him too seriously. Which of the following would you like
to see:
Would you like to him: Lasered?
[Insert lots of similies at this point for the humor- and sarcasm-impaired!]
-- Jack Beven (jbeven@delphi.com), 23rd February 1996
korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au (Kate Orman) wrote:
His hair doesn't look at all like my nice. And I'm very offended that you
would refer to my nice in a public posting. I only showed it to you on the
understanding that it was a private moment between the two of us!
Tre.
some heroine-worship will come back and haunt you when you least expect it guy.
-- Tre Hellman (tre@quake.net), 26th February 1996
Gregt T. Allinson said:
B Stone (b-stone@ux7.cso.uiuc.edu) replied:
Don't worry, Gregg. We here at Case Western Reserve University have
noticed the prevalence of quotes like yours and realized that the
newsgroup had long since passed the point of natural silliness death.
Using our mathematical prowess, we have opened up massive crossposts in
an attempt to bleed off the excess silliness. While these crossposts
are huge navigational hazards, they are necessary for the continued
existance of the newsgroup. Without them, the entire internet would
descend into entropy and silliness.
Ian "Very Special Bracelet" McIntire
-- Ian McIntyre (imm@po.cwru.edu), 26th February 1996
Ken Mann
I hope so - otherwise Nick Park might turn to other Doctor Who writers
to put words into Wallace and Gromit's mouths.
Pip and Jane Baker:-
WALLACE: "What - not even Wensleydale ? That most edifyingly aromatic
Terran lactic fermentation ? An abject travesty of gastronomic
discretion!"
Malcolm Hulke:-
WALLACE: "I realise I was wrong to banish you to the dog house, Gromit.
We humans must learn to share the planet with our sentient
animated canine friends, and live in peace together."
Paul Cornell:-
WALLACE AND GROMIT (IN UNISON) : "Good evening - we're plasticene".
-- Dave Owen (dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk), 27th February 1996
Jean-Marc Lofficier (rjmlof@haven.ios.com) says...
Jeez, Jean-Marc, that's the third message I've read today from you
mentioning something that dates you. Does Randy know? And how can you
then criticise Kirk's tawdry relationships?
Then again, the rules are different in France, I think. . .
-- Chris D. Heer (cheer@eskimo.com), 27th February 1996
[How was that TARDIS materialisation sounds made?]
EDP95NLO
(NOISIV*NI ,rotide remroF)
nick@smale.demon.co.uk (Nick Smale) wrote:
You know, when I read this, I thought it meant Sylvester saw something truly
frightening/disgusting on his lino, courtesy of Eric, and wondered just what
it would have to be to get such a reaction!
A chocolate-covered handcuff?
-- David J Richardson (borad@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au), 14th March 1996
Subject: Re: Terrance Dicks. Is he a bit shit?
David Robinson (navaz@geko.net.au) wrote:
Me not could put it have any better. Me rite good too.
-- Jean-Marc Lofficier (rjmlof@haven.ios.com), 15th March 1996
[On the subject of too much Anghelides in this very file:]
Howzabout we just set up a bot which funnels every post from Anghelides into
his own quote file? It can become the seventh part of the monthly FAQ.
Underground cults will spring up around it, leading to the development of
thriving Anghelidetheistic civilizations. Everyone will laugh and cavort all
the day long.
Soon, nominating anyone other than Peter for the quote file will be against
the law. Hordes of pasty-faced women with day-glo guns will spring up to
ensure compliance. Everyone will be *forced* to read Anghelides' posts and
they *will* laugh and be merry and ANGHELIDINESS WILL PREVAIL! DEATH TO
KILLJOYS!
"I'm glad you're Anghelides!" "I'm Anghelides you're glad!"
-- Brian Ghoti (ghoti42@ix.netcom.com), 15th March 1996
Subject: A not-so-serious review of Shakedown...
Announcing
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DICKS-O-MATIC(tm) comes complete with the following built-in features:
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2) AutoBond - Automatically selects several main characters and throws
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Sontaran Generals and other author's mouthpieces.
7) PatchWork - Got an old video script lying around you want to recycle
into your novel's storyline? The PatchWork module shows you how, guiding
you through the process of stitching two separate storylines together on
the flimsiest of pretexts. Automatic interfacing with PlotWeaver and The
Lazarus Suite ensures the important characters survive any nasty accidents
that might befall them.
8) PlotHoler - based upon the premise expressed in Steve Leahy's .sig
("Plot hole, n: A device which allows an author to avoid the difficult
task of writing coherently..."), PlotHoler ensures that the task of
writing coherently never befalls the author. The Ben Aaronovitch version
("Plot hole, n: A fissure created by your deadline arriving before
Chapter Three") is also available as a plug-in.
9) EasyReader - Removes all those long, complicated words and phrases from
your finished novel, ensuring the style is consistent with that used in
Dicks' novelizations of televised Doctor Who stories.
Here at CHRONIC HYSTERESIS we think DICKS-O-MATIC(tm) is the greatest
thing since sliced bread, but we don't just expect you to take our word
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Adventure _Shakedown_, which was produced entirely by DICKS-O-MATIC(tm)
1.0.
Here are some totally unsolicited comments from established NA and MA authors:
"If only I'd had DICKS-O-MATIC(tm) when I was writing _The Hole_; it
mightn't have been such a disaster." - N. Biroswick.
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And from our competitors:
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-- Steve Leahy (Steve.Leahy@anu.edu.au), 19th March 1996
>Subject: Re: What's UNIT?
>Organization: WorldWide Access - Chicago Area Internet Services
>++)2u#B+Toe=e1#x0No++a*ci/aA+.a#+T+rI#n##++#u+H+*
>/ng##uK# |a+n+*oo"'+#~=++++
> Just to be a pain, we are changing the picture in the paperback of
> COMPANIONS for a different (and better quality) shot from the session.
> Still Katy and a Dalek, though.
: Death, and I seem, to remember lots of Frenchmen in the Hartnell
: historicals. Don't know if any kisses were exchanged, but Frenchmen do
: that sort of thing you know...
>Will the movie actually appear on TV or will it be direct to video?
>sure why I think so, its just a gut feeling.
From: Jack Beven [jbeven@delphi.com]
Newgroups: rec.arts.drwho
Subject: Re: Which NAs and MAs should I buy?
> The five to avoid are..
> 1: Set-Piece
> 2: The Left Handed Hummingbird
>
> Jon, do something to this person...
>Well, I could stick my fingers in my ears and make "wibble-wibble-wibble"
>noises at him, but that might be treating him a bit too seriously, don't
>you think?
>
>Regards,
>Kate's Champion
Phasered?
Masered?
or X-Raysered?
Would you like to see him shot with: A .44 Magnum?
A Meson gun?
A Neutron Blaster?
A Dalek Gun?
The Special Weapons' Dalek Gun?
or the Demat Gun?
Would you like him to be eaten by: The Blob?
The Creeping Terror?
The Skarasen?
A Drashig?
Gamera?
or Godzilla?
Would you like to see him thrown into: A multiple-vortex tornado?
A hurricane?
An active volcano's crater?
A CVE?
or a Black Hole!
Would you like to see him: Blown up with Nitro-9?
Captured by the Shadows?
Captured by the Sontarans?
Kidnapped and forced to work for Fu Manchu?
Kidnapped and forced to work for Dr. Forrester?
Forced to read the Pit over and over?
Forced to watch ST:VOY "Threshold" over and over?
Or be written into one of Kate's books?
> Argh, no, I don't like the wig at all - but I've only seen that one
> photo, it might look quite different in real life. It's a shame Paul McG
> is virtually hairless at the mo, his own hair looks tres nice.
> Ohhh.............Robert................I feel ill...............
>
> Wheezie! Wheezie! I think this the big one, Wheezie!:)
>As funny as that was, Gregg, you have just quoted THE JEFFERSONS in
>rec.arts.drwho. The instability caused by this threatens the very
>backbone of the universe, so please attend carefully, as the message that
>follows is vital to the surivival of you all.
>
>The only way to restore the balance is to:
>
>A) Post a glowing, in-depth review of THE PIT
>B) Spend an entire night with a drunk David Yadalee
>C) Watch THE TWIN DILEMNA until your eyes bleed
>Note that this story features Peter Sallis, who went on to star as the
>voice of Wallace in the "Wallace and Gromit" films, which were
>co-written by Bob Baker, half of the Baker and Martin writing duo.
>Coincidence?
>Seriously, I totally agree with you; it all depends how it's handled.
>As I said earlier, I hate(d) Kirk's cheap, tawdry and sexist romances on
>Classic Trek, even at the time. (And that dates me.)
>Off the top of my head as opposed to scrapping a key down a door it was
>actually scrapped along the strings in an old (or possibly not so old)
>piano in the BBC radiophonic workshop and then "fiddled with" I
>believe Brian Hodgson is credited with this if my memory of In Vision
>magazine serves correctly, it is in fact (from Tom Baker onwards)
>listed as music not sound effects in the production credits
sedilehgnA reteP
.sdrawkcab ti yalp neht dna eriw
eht gnola deggard yek eht drocer ot deen uoy ,tceffe reporp
eht teg ot tuB .yekhctal dna eriw onaip rof eceip lacisum a s'ti ,seY
-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 28th February 1996
> McCoy claims that once, when [Eric Roberts] noticed a slight blemish on
> the floor of his limo, he ordered the carpets to be replaced before he would
> be driven to the filming.
: His writing style is about good enough to make anyone think that the
: lemmings have the right idea. It is no better (and sometimes worse) than
: the writing of the original 'novelisation' of the TV Who - with the
: exception of Rememberance - it hasn't grown, adapted, changed, while
: every other aspect of what Doctor Who now is has.
:-)
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