The rec.arts.drwho Quote File - October 1995

Courtesy of Christopher D. Heer

Submissions and comments shouw be sent to Chris. (Mail Chris)

(somebody writes):

>Hi, I've been off the net for a while, and I need info on any new
>Dr Who TV/films... please email..
>ANY info would be much appreciated.
>Thanks in advace

It still stands as a crossover between the UK's "Doctor Who" and the 1970's classic US sitcom "Fish" which starred Abe Vigoda and Florence Stanley. Abe Vigoda and the Todd Bridges character were originally to have joined the TARDIS crew, but Todd Bridges, unavailable due to his being in jail, has been replaced with actor Troy McClure (you may remember him from his TV series "Handel with Kare" ("The Original Odd Couple") which premiered after Super Bowl XXVI).

-- Jason A. Miller (, September 15, 1995

In article <4397g0$>,
The Doctor wrote:
>This is a sucker born every minute!

His neurons clearly fire. Just not in any discernible pattern.

-- Arturo Madigin (, Sept 15 1995

(on the subject of most embarrassing episode)

An Unearthly Child episode 1 (that may not be the right title, but everyone knows what I'm talking about).

I watched this "in company". Susan dancing. AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH. Susan saying "It's true. Every word of it's true". AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH. If she was much more wooden the Department of Transport would be trying to build a road over her and environmentalists would be chaining themselves to the top of her.

-- Anthony (, Sept 14 1995

The thalls...humane, sensitive souls or stupid bastards?

You decide!

King Temnosus leads all his people into the most glaringly obvious trap of all time.

Latep tries to get off with Jo Grant when everyone knows she's a dalek fetishist.

And it takes them ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF WAR to think of firing a rocket at the other side.

The prosecution rests, m'lud.

-- R.P. Augood (, Sept 14 1995

(on the subject of baiting Yads, Steve Traylen said:)

>He's not worth the effort, just ignore him.

I think I have to agree.

-- Dave the Dave (, Sept 14 1995

(Dave Yadallee posted a bunch of nonsense:)


Posting in hexadecimal won't make you any more coherent, Dave - there are no Logopolitans round here...

PS: You don't think his anti-killfile program works by Block Transfer Computation, do you ? Oh no!

-- David Owen (, Sept 15 1995

>I get sick of everybody picking doctor who to bits because of special
>effects. It was the story lines that held the show together for so long.
>the effects in my opinion shouln't really count. look at the mccoy
>years. better effects and bad stories. That is the major problem with tv
>of the 90's. every one wants great effects and doesn't care about the

Er ... yeah.

File this one under, "Choir, Preaching to the".

-- David "Non-Effects Man" McKinnon ( Sept 15, 1995

(Once again, Dave the Dave was blathering:)

>This is a sucker born every minute!

On your business card, baby, on your business card.

-- Christopher D. Heer (, Sept 16 1995

>As I understand it, it wasn't Segal who wanted to do 6 movies a year. It
>was Universal.

You mean *everyone* wanted to do six movies a year?

-- Kate Orman (, Sept 16 1995

>Well, while Roger Daltrey is nice looking (and sings pretty well, too) he
>has the acting range of the average turnip. He proved that on his
>Highlander appearances. I'm afraid I wouldn't much like to see him as the

Hey, don't forget his star turn on "Tales From the Crypt". He plays a sadistic, evil, lustful ... newspaper journalist.

And his nose falls off.

I tells'ya, the man exudes talent.

-- Jason A. Miller ( Sept 16, 1995

(on a thread entitled "My First Who Books"):

>From the title of this thread, I'd assumed you were talking about "Junior Doctor Who and the Giant Robot" by Terrance Dicks (what a memory this boy has). This made me think of two further ideas:

(a) Junior Doctor Who: adventures of the first incarnation as a boy. Theta Sigma struggles to finish that Prydonian assignment while his arch-enemy the Master messes up the project work, and Drax makes a move on his girlfriend. Will he get to take Flavia to the Time Prom, or will the Other make an unexpected appearance?

(b) Doctor Who for Time Tots: "See the Doctor. See his big blue box. See the Bad Dalek. Look out Doctor! See the companions. When he says run, run companions!"

PS: News just in: Virgin have rejected (b), but Boxtree are showing strong interest.

-- Peter Anghelides (, Sept 18 1995

>>1) What is "gurning"? (e.g. p 109, "The Doctor is gurning as he's attacked
>>by tentacles" under "goofs" for "Spearhead from Space")
>Gurning is a less civilised version of whingeing---it entails making a
>raucous and objectionable racket while you cry.

Nope, gurning is a strange British folk event. It involves putting a toilet seat around you neck, and pulling a hideous face without the use of your hands and fingers. (I am not making this up.) The keenest exponents of this event are usually old men with lots of flabby facial skin and no teeth who can contort their physiognomy so drastically that they appear to be swallowing their own noses. In "Spearhead from Space", Jon Pertwee has the Nestene tentacle wrapped around his neck, and does a goggly-eyed face while rasping "Thwitch on Lith" to his cowering, mini-skirted companion. Hence the apt description. For me, this "gurning" was one of the Pertwee Doctor's most endearing character flourishes. But do we get it in the MAs or the NAs or the Decalog stories? Do we heck as like - instead, we just get him rubbing the back of his neck. (Still sore from the Nestene tentacle, I suppose.)

-- Peter Anghelides (, Sept 18 1995

(on the subject of ideas to boost the new show's ratings)

I've got a plan.

A number of RADW regulars join United We Stand and take an aggressive role in convincing Ross Perot to try another run for the presidency. We convince him that the greatest advantage is to be gained by announcing his bid in late February with a 2-hour paid-political show to run concurrently on ABC, NBC and CBS on a Tuesday night. We encourage him to use LOTS of those unreadable charts and graphs to illustrate his points. We make SURE his show runs at the same time as New Who, and that Fox is the only network not showing Perot.

We've got it made.

-- Elsa Frohman (, Sept 17 1995

Jonathan Blum ( wrote:

: allow me to put on my Lance Parkin hat

For those that don't know, Virgin have just introduced a new range of NA Author winter clothing, and it's selling briskly at Forbidden Planet in London.

-- Lance Parkin (, Sept 18 1995

(on the subject of this quotefile (hey! a recursive quote!))

In <43c19l$>, (Christopher D. Heer) writes:
>And as for Peter Anghelides. . . I was strict on him this time! I've been
>harder on him than others lately

Like Scottish cheddar, Chris is hard, but fair.

-- Peter Anghelides (, Sept 18 1995

So, how does Doctor Dandelion rebuild an old church around a reinforced modern shell? And when? And why? I guess he had a lot of time on his hands, and maybe there's another Decalog story which explains the time he spent on Earth masquerading as a civil engineer* to develop the building expertise and as a result causes the Windsor Castle Fire, the lightning strike on York Minster, and the collapse of Ronan Point, but...

(Sorry, I'm just feeling a birastroppy today.)

* My favorite telephone book entry is "BORING: see Civil Engineers".

-- Peter Youknowwho (, Sept 18 1995

(re: Planet of the Spiders)

>I could hear, albeit faintly,what at first I took to be the soundtrack to
>another Dr. Who episode, playing alongside the proper signal.

Dang, you're right. I just listened to my copy, and realised that it's a subliminal message from Mat Irvine and Ian Scoones. Put on your headphones, close your mouth real tight and stick a finger up each nostril, crank up the volume with your free hand, and you can definitely hear:

"Cor, look at the crap CSO on that flying car, should have done that as a model shot. Dearie me! Mind you, those spiders aren't bad considering the money we had for visuals. Cor, look at the crap CSO on that flying car, should have..."

-- Him Again (, Sept 19 1995

(re: Dalek Costume)

> I know this is not a classifieds group, but this is a related "for
>sale" post.

Salesman: Ooh-sir-it-looks-just-fab-u-lous-on-yooouuu.

John Scott Martin (for it is he): Mm, I dunno, it feels a bit tight around the bumper.

Saleman: It-will-ease-in-with-weeeaaar. Don't-wor-ry-a-bout-that, sirrrr.

John SM: Still, I dunno.. And it feels a bit slack round the collar too. Are you sure this is real dalekanium? I saw a coupla suits in A.J.Lane's that looked suspiciously like adamantium cheapos. What do you reckon, Murphy?

Murphy Grumbar: Well, I preferred you in that Mutt suit....

John SM: Ever since I won that subscription to DWM, I always mix up The Mutants with The Daleks. No, this definitely feels baggy round the plunger.

Salesman (tugging at parabolic dish on rear of suit): No-sirrrr. It-fits-you-like-a-glove. Hon-est-ly-sir-you-look- the-ab-so-lute-bee's-kneeeeees.

John SM: OK, you've talked me into it. Do you take American Express?

Saleman: Ex-ter-mi-naaaaaaaate!!!

-- Peter Somethingorother (, Sept 19, 1995,

>The Thals...humane, sensitive souls or stupid bastards?,

And Ganatus... what a woodentop! Like Chris Heer, his head was hard but fair. ,

-- Peter Anbibblefish (, Sept 19 1995,

>I like to entertain the notion that underneath the chunky _Ambassadors_-style
>space-suits, they were wearing the classical open-chested tunics and
>kinky leather slacks with holes cut down the sides, from their earlier
>appearance. It helps pass the time when watching _Planet_, anyway.

I've been listening to the "Planet" audio tape on my surround-sound in-vehicle entertainment system (OK, my car tape deck). Your posting has now made it impossible for me to finish it, as the images you conjure up are detrimental to my driving. And I was so enjoying Jon Pertwee (a) reading Terrance Dicks' spartan, yet abridged, Target prose, (b) mispronouncing Thals as "tarls"*, and (c) doing dalek impressions when, notoriously, he hates the daleks.

* On my thuround-thound thythtem, too

-- Peter Peter (, Sept 19 1995

>>>Plus, it was very odd that all of the Doctors from late Tom Baker to
>>>Colin Baker would want to wear that same shirt...
>> Well, it was his lucky shirt...
>LUCKY!!!!???!!! He died whilst wearing it.......twice!

Yeah, but look at all the chicks he picked up... :)

-- Elsa Frohman (, Sept 19 1995

[The night is dark -- there is no moon. Two SENTRIES pace quietly in front of the gates of the high, imposing castle.]

SENTRY 1: I really shouldn't have got the sergeant so mad at me. That way I might have got off with pacing on the battlements above the gates, instead of down here in front of them.

SENTRY 2: Well, you really shouldn't have said that about his mother's cranial capacity.

SENTRY 1: I resent that. After all, it's true -- her skull just wasn't big enough to fit all those flowers. You saw the cracks!

SENTRY 2: Well, I think you were stuffing them in a bit too hard -- urk!

[SENTRY 2 falls to the ground dead, revealing a dagger in his back and a shadowy figure behind him.]

FIGURE: [grimly] You will open the gates. Now.

SENTRY: Hey! Now I'll never collect those three florins he owes me.

FIGURE: [drawing a huge sword] Open the gates! Or I shall slay you as casually as I slew your partner.

SENTRY: [drawing a bigger sword] Ha! My sword is bigger than yours!

FIGURE: I don't care how big your "sword" is. Open the gates, or I shall kill you! [he swipes at the SENTRY]

SENTRY: [parrying] Hmm. I don't think so. Not logically valid.

FIGURE: [attacking in earnest now] Open the gates!

SENTRY: [defending in earnest, but not expending much effort. He's really good.] Yeah? Why do you want me to?

FIGURE: [hack, slash] Because we must sack this city, as vengeance for your original sin!

SENTRY: [surprised parry, flick] Mine? Oh, I see, you must be that cousin she was on about. Look, I had no idea she was only twelve. She was very mature.

FIGURE: [angered, thrust, slash] Confound your prattling! I speak of the butchering your city's burghers perpetrated on my people a hundred years ago, when this foul metropolis was founded.

SENTRY: [parry, retreat] Oh, *that*. No, no, "original sin" refers to sex, not murder. Andy Lane made the same mistake.

FIGURE: [slash, pause, confusion] What? No, he didn't!

SENTRY: [parry] Well, in _Original Sin_, he goes on and on about the relevance of murder and the various justifications for it, but the closest he ever gets to sex is to have Bernice kiss Chris Cwej full on the lips. And that was in the middle of a firefight!

FIGURE: [angry cut and slash] No true warrior would allow a woman on a battlefield!

SENTRY: [parry, jump] Yes, well, I didn't think it was very realistic either. Zebulon Pryce was much better. I liked his philosophy.

FIGURE: [cut, anger, thrust] Pryce was a filthy murderer!

SENTRY: [parry, hop] Ah. As opposed to you, I suppose?

FIGURE: [slashcutthrustslash] Slanderer! I follow in the honourable philosophical path tread by the Hith.

SENTRY: [parry] Actually, I thought a lot [parry] of the philosophy [run] was intrusive, and got in the way of [parry] the storytelling.

FIGURE: [slash, pant, slash] But you must admit that Chris Cwej and Roz Forrester were excellent new companions!

SENTRY: [parry] Yes, they were indeed. I also liked the neat little editorial touches at the beginnings of the chapters -- very cool.

FIGURE: [attacking again] But the Hith [pant] were the superior characters of the book! An honourable race!

SENTRY: [parry, sigh] Yes, I suppose so. But I found the writing style a bit ... pedestrian. [parry] Nothing particularly bad, but I just didn't really get excited very often. And the villain was totally irrelevant.

FIGURE: [half-thrust] Yes. Very [pant] boring. Not [gasp] very realistic. Or relevant.

SENTRY: [step aside] No. Good pace to the plot, though, and some good lines. And the regulars were pretty good, too, especially Bernice. I wish she'd been in the real show -- she's pretty damn close to my favourite companion ever.

FIGURE: [stagger] Open ... the gates.

SENTRY: [bored] No. Are you finished yet?

FIGURE: Open ... urk! [He falls backward, dead.]

SENTRY: [wipes sword on sleeve] Bye.

-- David "Eight out of Ten" McKinnon (, Sept 15 1995

>Jack Beven (a. k. a. The Supreme Dalek)
>National Hurricane Center

Is it only me, or does this .sig worry other people too? What next: Glitz selling real estate? Shockeye on MasterChef?

-- Peter Himagain (, Sept 20 1995

> Given the fact that these
>independent beings are sent *backwards* in time, however, "retrojections" or
>"prejections" might be better terms.

"Premature regeneration". A common, but little-discussed, Time Lord complaint. Delicacy forbids a fuller explanation.

-- Peter Anghelides (, Sept 20 1995

> A mystery Doctor called Foreman
> Found his yard gate repainted as "Forman".
> But don't blame JN-T
> Or you'll very soon see
> A rebuke from his fan, Ms Kate Orman.

This doggerel is a triple first, folks. It's the first bad poem of its kind, the first bad poem about a female fan, and the first bad poem about a fan from the Antipodes.

-- Christopher D. Heer (, Sept 20 1995

First, let me apologise to any intelligent humans that may be reading this.

Second, no, I don't know why I do this.

Third, it's funniest if you actually *picture* the Gallifreyan chorus singing, especially in those silly hats.

Fourth, it's to the tune of "Walk on the Wild Side" by Lou Reed.

Segal came from deep in the U.K.
Thought he revive Doctor Who one day
He liked it like you and me
But it was zapped by the BBC, I said
Hey babe. . . take a look at the new Who
I said hey honey, take a look at the new Who

All right.

Jean-Marc and Randy came on to the net
Some tried to listen and some wanted to vent
But they never lost their heads
Even when they were flaming Segs, they said
Hey babe. . . take a look at the new Who
They said hey, Segs, take a look at the new Who

And the Gallifreyans go
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo

doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo

Now we'll wait 'till Feb or even May
Wonderin' if the advertisers'll pay
A 17 share will get us by
Else to Who we'll say goodbye, I said
Hey babe. . . take a look at the new Who
I said hey Yads, take a look at the new Who

And the Gallifreyans go
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo

doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo
doo de-doo de-doo de-doody-doo


-- Christopher D. Heer (, Sept 20 1995

>But think about this - if Yads posts x number of bloody stupid posts and
>you respond to all of them, that gives us 2x stupid posts to wade through
>- not counting the fact that Yads responds to all of your responses.
>Simple arithmetic seems to say that your holy war only *increases* the

Isn't that a pyramid scheme? Aren't they illegal?

"Hi, my name is Dave Yads, and I've got a sure-file way to $$$ MAKE.FLAMES.FAST $$$$....."

-- Paul Rhodes (, Sept 21 1995

>Ok, everyone. Nash has publicly pledged to end flaming Yads unless Yads
>does something blatantly insulting, like spamming people's mailboxes.
>Posting that Nash is wasting space when he's no longer wasting space *IS*
>wasting space, OK? OK!

"I'm sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am."

-- David "Python" McKinnon (, Sept 22 1995

(re: why romana regenerated)

I reckon Romana stole Astra's body type for the acting skills, m'self.

-- David McKinnon (, Sept 22 1995

>I just watched 'The Curse of Peladon' and Jo kisses King Peladon (David
>Troughton) towards the end.

I think you'll find that she actually kissed him on the cheek (upper left).

-- Peter Ware (, Sept 24 1995

Eva, who has never seen more than the cover of the Stranger, but thinks that it is already better than the Colin Baker Dr. Who's and should be substituted in for them. Wait, Peri's in this too, isn't she? We may have to rethink this in the future...

-- Eva Jacobus (, Sept 26 1995

> Opinions are my own but are open to any reasonable offer

Shall we say a tenner for a degree of uncertainty, and twenty for a 180 degree turnaround into becoming a drooling Cornell fan?

-- Paul Cornell (, Sept 28 1995

(re: silly book titles like Return of the Living Dad)

Oh this is getting ridiculous. Is there some sort of in competition between you lot for the silliest book title?

I thought Sleepy was weird enough. Kept thinking there were going to be six sequels: Dopey, Sneezy, Doc etc.

What will it be next?

An Awfully Transcendental Adventure?
Four Wotans and a Funnel?
The Shawshank Redemption of the Daleks?
Reservoir K-9s?

Where will it all end?

-- Uncle Halibut III (, Sept 29, 1995

>An Awfully Transcendental Adventure?
>Four Wotans and a Funnel?
>The Shawshank Redemption of the Daleks?
>Reservoir K-9s?

The Usual Megalomaniacs
Hindle's List
A Console Room With a View (not by Cartmel, obviously)
Daleks: Invasion of Earth 2150AD

>Where will it all end?

Warriors' Gate (which will lose a fortune, bankrupt Virgin and put people off making New Adventures for the next ten years)

-- Paul Rhodes (, Sept 29 1995

On a related note, I hear that Derek Smalls was collaborating with Robert Holmes and Dudley Simpson on a musical version of _The Talons of Weng-Chiang_ called _Saucy Jack_, until the former died in a bizarre script-editing accident, and the latter tragically and inexplicably accepted a teaching post in Australia. Derek was said to be "shocked and stunned".

Meanwhile, all that survives of St. Hubbins and Tufnel's _Stones of Blood_ inspired concept piece _The Nine Travellers_ is this lyrical fragment...

"Boscawen, let me take you there
'Tis a magic place, with a spaceship in the air
Boscawen, where the witches dwell
'Midst the metal dog and the stones from hell"

Nigel's new solo album includes a "post-feminist love poem" inspired by former companion Nichola Bryant...

"Baby baby, in that tight leotard
And your pink high-heels
Christ, it makes me hard

Baby Baby, all us men are mugs
For you running down corridors
And shakin' those jugs"

It'll appear on his forthcoming solo EP, "Intravenusian Lullabyes".

David Owen (, Sept 29 1995

>>: In case anyone is interested, the term "okay" originated in the
>>: presidential campaign of William Henry Harisson.

>>Where did you get this story? My understanding is that it originated
>>among supporters of Martin Van Buren, whose nickname was "Old Kinderhook".

>My understanding from reading I did in US History 1 was that it is descended
>from an African word and entered the English language as a result of the slave

That's not what I was told!

My supervisor swore blind that the entire expression was invented by a swarm of twelve-foot-long Lakertyan piranha bees!

-- David "Golgafrincham" McKinnon (, Oct 2, 1995

>Fortunately there was a series of stories called "Doctor Who and the
>Mathematics Course" which accounts for my current career choice.
>It was known as "Season 18".

Ah, so *that's* why you're in history.

Ah, season 18. Whose most powerful mathematical character was an adolescent dweeboid who couldn't walk properly, and whose name rhymed with "Badric".

Whose sophisticated treatment of platonic solids involved inflatable cacti.

And whose mathematical season-ending blockbuster implied that by doing your math homework properly, you could provide oreos for the rest of your class, too.

-- David "Mathematics" McKinnon (, Oct 2 1995

> Oh dear, you've discovered the truth.
> The reason that the image is reversed is because, unbeknownst to the vast
> majority of the public, Peter Davison never actually stared as the Doctor.

Indeed. Kept his eyes moving, that one did.

-- Shannon Sullivan (, Oct 3 1995

>First up, no black-and-whites (or maybe just the one - The Aztecs ot Tomb).
>They're good, but a new audience will want something a bit more fast-paced.

"The Aztecs of Tomb"??

Oh, you're not still using the old '71 titles, are you? Normal people with two working brain hemispheres wouldn't even *consider* calling that story anything other than "The Plot-Hole That Ate Great Yarmouth".

>I'd probably start with 'Genesis of the Daleks' - good story, and explains
>a bit about the Daleks. Then a random selection of other decent stories, but
>including 'Logopolis' to explain regeneration.

Ooh, good choice. No one ever argues about the regeneration scene from "Logopolis". Ever.

-- David McKinnon (, Oct 3 1995

(from a thread entitled "The good Doctor's name)

The *good* Doctor's name is "Doctor".

The *bad* Doctor's name is "Valeyard".

There. Wasn't that simple ?

-- David Owen (, Oct 3 1995

Getting back to the thread, sources in r.a.dw closer to Virgin than me will be able to confirm that the seventh Doctor of the New Adventures *is* vegetarian and is intended to remain so for the forseeable future.

BENNY: Doctor, Doctor, you've....changed!

EIGHTH DOCTOR: Bloody hell, I'm ravenous. Fetch me a bacon butty and a cup of Bovril, will you ?

-- David Owen (, Oct 3 1995

>Rubes, who is going crazy trying to figure out how to post a coherant message.

Well, look us at don't help for. Most us of figured haven't either out. Crazy are, however, yes we.

"Go Edmonton Hertiage!"

-- Brian Ghoti (, Oct 5 1995

(on the subject of Return of the Living Dad, Kate Orman says:)

>> See if you can work out what it's about from the title. :-)

Its about 300 pages.

-- Mike Teague (, Oct 5 1995

>The *good* Doctor's name is "Doctor".
>The *bad* Doctor's name is "Valeyard".
>There. Wasn't that simple ?

You're wrong.

The *good* Doctor was Peter. The *bad* Doctor was Colin.


-- Peter A Davison (, Oct 6 1995 "some awesome guy"

Chris Heer:
>>Right after they release The Invasion, I'd expect.

Jason Miller:
> Give it up, Heer. It's a pipe dream.
> We're never gonna see this story, face it.

Actually, I recently read that there is a way to obtain copies of "The Invasion" in NTSC format. Apparently there was a series of broadcasts made in Mexico, of all places, in early 1970. All of season 6 was shown, and archived in the national Mexican film centre. Later seasons were planned, but funding for the project fell through.

Unfortunately for anglophone Who fans, much of the season was dubbed into Spanish, but "The Invasion" (and parts of "The War Games") were subtitled.

(According to my Spanish-speaking friends, the translations are at times idiosyncratic -- for example, when Jamie says to Packer, "Oh, so you can read, can ye? What other tricks can ye do?" (in Vaughn's office), the subtitle apparently translates to "How many women have you bedded with your reading skills?")

So, it turns out that the Mexican government will send off copies of these videos to anyone who writes with a request, and includes an international money order for 100 Mexican pesos or $15 US per videotape. I don't remember the address offhand, but if anyone is interested, email me and I will look it up.

-- David "Connections" McKinnon (, Oct 7, 1995

>According to BBC World news new Planetary system discovered and
>possibilities of alien life speculated.
Ah, Mondas. How good of you to finally arrive. Shame you were nearly 10 years late, but what's a decade between invaders and helpless humans?

-- Gregg Allinson (, Oct 8 1995

>>Commercial breaks in the UK are not allowed as
>>a means of heightening tension

"No, sorry, you can't put that break there - it's got to go somewhere where it won't heighten the tension. Can you just shift it to the 'walking down the street whistling happily with absolutely nothing sinister going on' bit?"

-- Paul Rhodes (, Oct 9 1995

>Yep. After the movie airs, I'm going to take BART across the Bay, stand in the
>places the Doctor visited, quote incomprehensible lines from the show, and
>re-enact scenes. And the fact that the movie will actually be shot in
>Vancouver won't stop me.
>Anyone else game?

Sure. In fact, I'll do you one better.

I'll accompany you across the Bay into San Francisco, and help you re-enact scenes from the movie in the relevant bits of San Francisco.

Then I'll fly to Vancouver, and recite incomprehensible lines from the show in the places they were filmed.

Ha! Am I a sad fan, or what?

-- David "Study in Berkeley, live in Vancouver" McKinnon (, Oct 10 1995

>Except the cimematography is always better, and the special effects would
>blow Speilberg's mind, and the storyline would leave Kate Orman green with envy

And David Green orman with envy. :-)

-- Kate Orman (, Oct 11 1995

> The idea of the Doctor (or anyone) calling somebody like the Master,
>well, Master is hard to believe.

Not when you realise that his real name is Gladys Ermantrude Splinge.

-- Mike Teague (, Oct 11 1995

(on the subject of missing doctor who episodes in mexico)

A UN panel was once put together to try to decide which country was the most corrupt in the world. Mexico came in second.

But that's only because they bribed the panel not to put them in first place.

Why do I tell you this?

Well. Thing is, while the Mexican government (through the Government owned and administered Channel 11) has exclusive rights to the Spanish language versions of "Doctor Who", as David wisely points out they must surely be in possesion of the English language originals. Yet, selling/distributing them would be illegal. And of course, no mexican government Official has ->ever<- done anything even remotely illegal.

At least not without making a buck in the process.

In short, while you can order the dubbed and/or subtitle versions of the episodes through the addresses I've already posted, I'm sure that some sort of ehr..... arrangement can be achieved to obtain a "blank" videotape all the way from Mexico. Chances are, Mexico being what it is, that the "blank" videotape will be defective, containing some pictures of some silly old black and white brittish TV show; but don't worry, you can record over them any time you want. For a "reasonable" shipping and handling fee, I'm sure you can get English-only versions of these "blank" videotapes.

Now, the art of approaching a mexican official in order to bribe them is as long and complicated as the Australian Condor Mating Dance. Trying to do so without the proper training can lead to serious physical injury (as well as warrants for your arrest, and you would never be able to go to Mexico and feel safe again). I recommend contacting somebody who grew up in that culture and knows how to go about making these contacts and requests. I'm sure only a small account fee will be charged by the person involved.

Oh, did I mention I grew up in Mexico?

Requests for these "blank" videotapes should be sent care of Fulano Perez, through my e-mail address. Mr. Perez will contact you later with the exact details.

-- Arturo Madigin (, Oct 11 1995

>Not wishing to make a statement or anything but when I applied for my US
>visa one of the questions on the form asked if I intended to engage in
>illegal and/or terrorist activities whilst in the US...
>Like..Duh! of course I am, and I'm going to tell you! :-)

Yes, but once you've signed that statement, if you _did_ engage in illegal and/or terrorist activities, then you'd be in breach of contract! You could probably get fined or something.

-- Paul Rhodes (, Oct 12 1995

>Oh, and if anyone from DWM is reading... Is anything going to be done to
>make up for the fact that the lower half of the second installment of
>Gareth Roberts' short story mysteriously dematerialized?

Yes, the entire second installment will be rerun in the next issue. Gary pleads a cock-up at the printers, but nonetheless still curls up into a ball in the corner if you wave the issue at him.

If BBC Presentation can accidentally fade out episode 5 of _The Armageddon Factor_ part way through its original screening, then Marvel feels it should do likewise to evoke the atmosphere of *real* Doctor Who.

-- David Owen (, Oct 12 1995

>Why is it everyone on Earth gets soooo bloody excited every time they
>get invaded when they should be used to it by now?

Why is it that everyone on Earth gets soooo bloddy excited every time they have sex when most of them should be used to it by now?

-- Robert Smith? (, Oct 13 1995

(back on the subject of who episodes in mexico)

Agreed. Actually I suspect Mexico is hoarding the episodes in revenge for the Doctor letting Adric crash land into them 65 million years ago.

-- Steve Traylen (, Oct 13 1995

Paul Cornell:
> The fourth book in the series will be Douglas Adams' new
> novelisation of the Pirate Planet, which, with a sense of irony that
> matches my own, he has decided to only have published in Icelandic.


Will Douglas receive his final advance from Reykjavik?

-- Doctor Who Monthly (, Oct 13 1995

> There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is, Pete,
>Goergie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up
>our rassodocks what to do with the evening.

Why not take yourselves down to Argolis for a bit of the old in-out ?

-- David Owen (, Oct 13 1995

(on the subject of Dimensions in Time)

>JNT got it made cannonical. It's got a production number and all.

Yes, 7Q/A. But it's real title isn't "Dimensions in Time". That was just the name of the two episodes that appeared onscreen. It's real title is "Doctor Cutaway".

-- Robert Smith? (, Oct 11, 1995

> I hope Ainley is in it. I thought he was a great Master. Not
>hs fault that he was totally wasted.

Of course it was his fault. I'm sorry, but the peer pressure argument just doesn't hold with me. Nor does the "Being wasted improves my artistic skills" argument. What a load of rubbish. Although I never thought he was any more than a little tipsy in any given episode.

-- Eva Jacobus (, Oct 15 1995

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