The rec.arts.drwho Quote File - September 1995

Courtesy of Christopher D. Heer

Submissions and comments shouw be sent to Chris. (Mail Chris)


[Ed. Note: Someone actually dug this one up out of their personal archives!]

PLEASE CHRIS BIDMEAD, COME BACK! I'LL--I'LL--I'LL EVEN MARRY DAVE YADALLEE!

-- Christopher D. Heer (cheer@isisph.com), 21 July 1994


[On finally making it into the quote file]

Wheee! Me me me! I made it!

Now all I need is my very own Segonax insult (I don't think FOAD counts) and I can claim my RADW Snobbery badge.

-- Paul Rhodes (paul.rhodes@liffe.com), 17 August 1995


In article <40ui3g$73q@student.anu.edu.au>, Segonax writes:

>Be good chap and FOAD.

Do not FOAD, spindle or mutilate.

-- Don Gillikin (dgillikin@aol.com), 17 August 1995


I don't know what it is about this newsgroup---you're all so insufferably smug, especially that Jon Blum, who's always showing off by having no legs but standing anyway, stuck up and sickly sweet, like the twee twunk he is.

Then there's that author `bloke' Paul Cornell. You don't fool me. Come on, Paulie, admit it---you're really a woman! The dead giveaway is that you put female characters in your book, and you wouldn't need to do that unless you were making some kind of personal statement.

And what about little Shannon, eh? Out of her mouth comes more raw sewage than all the shit in Limerick---her arguments are the kind that get passed in _bodily_ functions. Trust me---I'm a logician, I'm _extremely_ clever, and I only contradict myself on Sundays. Funny how Shannon has to make a big issue out of the fact that she's got a bloke's middle name, as if that was a good reason for believing she's male.

Who's the most mindlessly violent librarian since Conan? It's definately Brigitte. Her posts are so childish and bigoted that she doesn't merit any attention whatsoever, yet there she is, cluttering up the bandwidth with flamin' hot chilli tomato purile.

Meanwhile, that Nazi Jennicatarrh can't even spell `sieg heil'. Your attempts at psychoanalysis indicate only a Freudian obsession with your subject, and don't try to deny it or we'll be even more certain of it than we are already.

And bloody hell these New Adventures are just so terrible. Who wants Doctor Who to have anything to say about sexuality, drugs or politics? Doctor Who should be light entertainment, like it always was, aimed at children, with no contentious moral issues. Fundamentally, this is what happens if you let women like Paul Cornell and Kate Orman write books---you get non-vacuous women with big chests, and that's frankly not on. And I haven't even read any of them, but I still know they're crap.

I hate you all. That's why I read this group.

-- Tamponax (ctm@dcs.ed.ac.uk), 17 August 1995


On 18 Aug 1995 in article , 'valeyard@infinet.com (J. Deel)' wrote:

>There is a pizza place here, I saw in the phone book, called "The Doctor
>Pizza". I am not in their area to order any, but I have often wanted to
>just drive over there out of pure curiousity.

They probably deliver, either 30 minutes before you order, or two weeks after, with no ability to control which.

-- Elsa Frohman (efrohman@nyc.pipeline.com), 18 August 1995


For me, traditional means stories where the TARDIS gets a flat tire and lands on a planet where the vulnerable but nice Feebles are being oppressed by the vicious and nasty Gonads and the Doctor is all that stands between the Feebles and extinction, he of course wins, usually after a bit of a mix-up and a few death threats.

-- Matt Jones (soa01mdj@gold.ac.uk), 19 August 1995


In <411t86$t7j@oznet03.ozemail.com.au>, Tim Archer writes:

>I rang the ABC to find out if the reports of the findings of clips from
>"Power of the Daleks" were true. I received a call today from a weird guy
>called Alfie who said it was true.

I can vouch for Alfie. I called him too, and he confirmed that he works for ABC in the capacity of King of the Turnip People. Thank heavens there are still devoted root vegetable aficionados like him around to help all us archive-starved DW fans. He also put me in touch with his colleague Pigbin Josh*, who confirms everything.

* I asked Mr Josh to spell his middle name, and apparently it's RRUR. Though he didn't sound entirely sure.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 21 August 1995


Shannon Patrick Sullivan wrote:

>Besides, I enjoyed CB almost as much as I enjoyed RatEotU.

Shannon, I know this French spelling is tricky, but you're Canadian, so you really should know better.

It's spelled "ratatouille".

-- David "Served in a Crystal Bucket" McKinnon (mckinnon@math.berkeley.edu), 20 August 1995


> Who is your favourite Doctor? > Who is your favourite companion? > Who is your favourite villian? Do we get flung off the Bridge of Death if we get any of them wrong? :-)

Anyways, mine would be...

The Fourth Doctor Ace The Ice Warriors.... no, no, wait, the Cybermen! The Cy---AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A A A A A a a a a a . . . -- Shannon Patrick Sullivan (shannon@morgan.ucs.mun.ca), 21 August 1995


Dear Mr. Segonax,

Due to time constraints, we would kindly ask you to either
a. Stop sending us submissions,
b. Stop sending us submissions that begin with "Kate Orman writhed in the eternal torment of hell, right next to Paul Cornell."

Enclosed is your 2038th submission.

Virgin Editing staff

-- Bruce Alan Greenwood (rbgp@music.macarthur.uws.edu.au), 22 August 1995


In , tegan@eskimo.com (Laura Gjovaag) writes:
>We usually do get Bassets, but they didn't have any last time, so we got
>Cleeve's instead.

Never mind the brand, the important thing is to ensure you get _boy_ jelly babies and not _girl_ jelly babies. That way, you get more jelly for your money.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 21 August 1995


In article <41a491$pmq@zen.hursley.ibm.com> anghelides@vnet.ibm.com (Peter Anghelides) writes:

>Peter Anghelides
>(MA, if you must know. Now there's a thing.)

You're an MA, Peter ? So's my girlfriend!

She's "The Romance of Crime". What are you ? You sound as if you might be "Milennial Rites"...

-- David Owen (dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk), 21 August 1995


Anyway, while I'm here, here's my Top Ten of irrelevancies I wouldn't miss if I had never found r.a.dw again...

10. How should we spell Siobhan?
9. Which single episode should I show to my new Zulu penpal who has never seen a television set in his life before?
8. Postings which repost 70 lines by someone else, with the addendum: "huh?"
7. Ansafone messages from people who don't know how to send e-mail.
6. Why did they rename Mission to the Unknown as Dalek Cutaway?
5. Why did they rename William Russell as Russell Enoch?
4. When did Segonax last make an on-topic posting? (Damned if you do, damned if you don't.)
3. Wild speculation based on an aside made in a Lofficier posting.
2. Should we rename r.a.dw as ent.sf.the-doctor, split it into 17 subgroups, and appoint Coordinator Engin as moderator?
1. Off-topic Top Tens which discuss r.a.dw in a metatextual way. (Oops.)

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 21 August 1995


Owen Shave (owen@windward.demon.co.uk) wrote:

: For technical reasons I cannot reveal the source of my anger -
: other than the name Segonax - I dunno if that means anything to
: anyone? :-)

It was that incomprehensible planet full of clowns, wasn't it?

-- Lance Parkin (ljp104@york.ac.uk), 23 August 1995


>>What type of motorcycle was featured in Delta and the Bannermen and
>>what model year was it built in? Were these built with side-cars or
>>was it an aftermarket part? What company made the car?
>
>Didn't Billy mention somewhere that it was a Vincent?

Hmm, my boy, yes, erm, Chetterton, it's clearly some kind of veci... vehic... vehicular transport of the late twentieth century. Hmm, what? I don't suppose... no, I don't suppose you would. It's owned by Vincent. Erm, it's a Vincent. Look, these lights look like they're fluouripsent.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 23 August 1995


David "Me" McKinnon:
>>I agree with you that the plot of _Goth Opera_ doesn't fit seamlessly
>>into the continuity of season 20 in the way that RoC and DtC fit into
>>the continuity of seasons 17 and 10, respectively, but Cornell does, IMHO,
>>get the characters exactly right. Nyssa feels like Nyssa, Tegan feels
>>like Tegan,

Rich "Rico" Augood:
>I wish I could be so certain. Is there something you haven't told us,
David?

Well, I was trying to keep it secret, but I guess it's out now.

I'd say more here, but I need to preserve the copyright on my new book, due to be released by Virgin Publications in late March, _Doctor Who: The Gynaecological Guide_. A must-read for all fans interested in the look and feel of "Doctor Who".

-- David "Published Author" McKinnon (mckinnon@math.berkeley.edu), 24 August 1995


It was 24 Aug 1995 15:20:05 GMT. I was reading instead of working. And apparently Richard Prekodravac was blathering about. . .

>Four years ago I started to put things in my mouth that ordinarily don't
>go there.

Another one of Chris's Things Not to Say in a Crowded Pub.(tm)

-- Christopher D. Heer (cheer@isisph.com), 25 August 1995


In <41kfv1$a1d@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com>, ghoti42@ix.netcom.com (Brian Ghoti) writes:

>"The Brain of Abslom Daak"

A slim volume. You could do it as a triple pack with "The Wit and Wisdom of Condo" and "Laugh and Learn with Nyder".

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 25 August 1995


The courtroom was shrouded in darkness. Then, suddenly, a column of light stabbed into the room, and the Council of the Inquisition appeared. They were three tall, hooded figures, seated at an intimidatingly long table at the front of the hall. A page stepped forward nervously from a darkened corner.

"SUMMON THE NEXT DEFENDANT."

The page shuddered. "Yes, my Lord."

The young boy skittered along the aisle in the now dimly lit courtroom, and groaned slightly as he pulled open the huge doors at the other end of it. He stepped outside briefly, and beckoned someone inside.

Two someones, actually.

"ENTER, O ACCURSED ONE, AND BE SEATED. BUT EXPLAIN THE PRESENCE OF THIS ... OTHER BEING."

The two figures walked silently down the aisle towards the defense's bench. They arrived at the bench, and one of them sat down. The other spoke.

"I am Richard Atkinson, counsel for the defense."

"YOUR PRESENCE IS NOT REQUIRED HERE."

Ratkins swallowed uneasily. "By the Law of the Cornell, every victim of the Inquisition is allowed a counsel for his or her defense. And I have chosen to represent Mr. Hinton here."

"VERY WELL. BE SEATED."

"But the opening statement for the defense is --"

"SILENCE! THERE WILL BE NO OPENING STATEMENT."

Ratkins swallowed again, and sat down.

"CRAIG HINTON, YOU ARE ACCUSED OF HERESY, MAKING STAR TREK REFERENCES WITHOUT A LICENSE, EXCESSIVE USE OF TECHNOBABBLE, AND CONSISTENT MISSPELLING OF 'ACE' AND 'BERNICE' AS 'TEGAN' AND 'TURLOUGH'. HOW DO YOU PLEAD?"

"Not guilty, my Lord."

"WE WILL PROVE YOUR GUILT, THEN. IT WILL ONLY BE THE WORSE FOR YOU."

There was an ominous pause, after which the Inquisitor spoke again.

"YOUR TREATMENT OF THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION IS HERETICAL AND FLIPPANT. IMPLICIT THOUGH IT MAY BE, IT IS SACRILEGIOUS, AND OFFENSIVE."

Ratkins stood up.

"I object, my Lord. Christianity took as much of a beating in _St. Anthony's Fire_, and you didn't criticise that book!"

"_ST. ANTHONY'S FIRE_ WAS FUNNY."

"In your opinion, my Lord. In the Law, the taste of the Inquisitor is no grounds for persecution."

The Council conferred briefly.

"VERY WELL. BUT THERE ARE STILL THE OTHER CHARGES TO CONSIDER."

Craig bounced excitedly, then leaned over, tantalisingly close to Ratkins' ear. "Oh, Richard, you're f***ing gorgeous!"

"WHAT OF THE NUMEROUS STAR TREK REFERENCES IN THE BOOK? CAN YOU PRODUCE YOUR TREKKIE LICENSE?"

"My Lord, there were no references to 'Star Trek' in the book."

"YOU LIE! WHAT OF THE 'TEA, EARL GREY, HOT' LINE?"

"Coincidence, my Lord. The Doctor is well known for liking tea, and it is quite conceivable that his favourite brand is Earl Grey.

"AND WHAT OF THE REPLICATORS?"

"What of them? Replication technology is hardly unique to the Trek universe -- it's been a common theme in much of modern science fiction. I claim that you don't have any grounds to persecute my client for this crime."

The Inquisitor grew noticeably angrier.

"SNIVELLING WORM! WE'LL PIN YOU DOWN YET. WHAT ABOUT THE TECHNOBABBLE? TIME AFTER TIME IN THE BOOK, HINTON WOULD INTRODUCE A PLOT TWIST DEPENDING ONLY ON TECHNOBABBLE, AND HE WOULD GET OUT OF IT WITH EQUALLY PURE TECHNOBABBLE. IT MADE FOR VERY TIRESOME READING."

"My Lord, there was no technobabble in the book at all. It was all verifiably true science."

"WHAT?? YOU LIE!"

"No, my Lord, haven't you heard of time bubbles before? And surely you have encountered computer viruses!"

"WELL, YES, BUT ..."

"Oh, no, my Lord. Technobabble abounds in such stories as 'Planet of Evil' or 'Mark of the Rani', but everything in _The Crystal Bucephalus_ was absolutely true. Honest."

The Council conferred hastily again, and with much agitation.

"WE HAVE NOT THE SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE TO DISPUTE THIS CLAIM. WE SHALL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT CHARGE."

"Very well, my Lord." Ratkins bowed obsequiously.

"WHAT OF THE CHARACTERISATION OF THE REGULARS? IT WAS APPALLING -- IT WAS PAINFULLY CLEAR THAT TEGAN AND TURLOUGH WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ACE AND BENNY, AND THE DOCTOR SEEMED MUCH MORE LIKE THE SEVENTH THAN THE FIFTH DOCTOR. HA! I'VE GOT YOU THIS TIME!"

"Opinion, my Lord. Tegan has always had an impulsive and combative nature, and Turlough was given snide quips all through his tenure on the show. The resemblances to Ace and Benny are striking, I'll admit, but that is merely in the nature of the characters being described."

"WELL, PAUL CORNELL DID A MUCH BETTER JOB IN _GOTH OPERA_."

"Your taste, my Lord. As I have pointed out before, this is not grounds for persecution. Besides, it is no crime to be a worse writer than Paul Cornell."

"CURSE YOU WRIGGLING EEL! DO NOT PLAY THE USED CAR SALESMAN WITH ME, RATKINS! OR YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE COUNCIL!"

"I am protected by special order of the Cornell himself. Do you defy his will?"

"NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT. BUT THERE IS STILL THE MATTER OF THE IRRELEVANT LEGIONS. THEY HAD NO SIGNIFICANCE TO THE PLOT WHATSOEVER! OR THE LAMENESS OF ALL THE JOKES! AND ..."

"My Lord, have these charges been laid formally?"

"WELL, NO, I MEAN, WE NEVER THOUGHT WE'D NEED TO, BECAUSE, WELL, WE THOUGHT WE'D BE ABLE TO NAIL HIM ON THE OTHER STUFF, AND --"

"Then you have no grounds for complaint. The time for laying charges is past, and you have not succeeded in proving your case for any of the charges presented. By the Law of the Cornell, I claim freedom for my client!"

"BUT WE'RE NOT FINISHED WITH HIM! WE STILL NEED TO TORTURE OUT A CONFESSION FROM HIM! WE MUST BEND HIM TO OUR WILL!"

"Empty threats, my Lord. We have won our case, and you have no right to restrain us."

With that, Ratkins stood up and left the room, followed closely by an ecstatic Craig Hinton.

"YOU ... YOU EGG! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, RATKINS!"

-- David McKinnon (mckinnon@math.berkeley.edu), 24 August 1995


i923095@redgum.bendigo.latrobe.edu.au (The Supreme Dalek) wrote:
>
>Please please please tell me that Michael Wisher is alive and well. I read a
>>message the other day that the immortal one had died.

>Blakes 7: Killer

This posting wins a special prize for combining unfortunate phrasing with dubious taste. (We could call it the Oscar Botcherby Award.)

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 25 August 1995


In <41iimk$84d@agate.berkeley.edu>, mckinnon@durban.berkeley.edu (David McKinnon) writes:

>I mean, would *you* want to be romanced by the Borad?

You have to assume that he'd be a sloppy kisser. Personally, I go for the older woman. Xanxia maybe. I know there's a bit of an age gap, but time be dammed.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 28 August 1995


My two favourite companions were K*9 Mk I and K*9 Mk III. Boy, I think fans must be begging for a team-up of all K*9's incarnations. "K*9 & K*9 & K*9 and Company", perhaps. Or "The Three Dogs".

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 28 August 1995


Doctor Who pledge breaks ?

Is that when you get up during the adverts to do a bit of polishing around the living room ?

Yours Domesticatedly,

-- David Owen (dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk), 25 August 1995


In , dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Dave Owen) writes:
>Doctor Who pledge breaks ?
>
>Is that when you get up during the adverts to do a bit of polishing
>around the living room ?

No, it's when you promise you'll never watch the series again, and then find yourself sitting in front of the next episode wondering if it can get any worse. This happened to me each week during the original screening "The Happiness Patrol".

PS: On mature reflection, I think that polishing the furniture would have been more enjoyable.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 25 August 1995


[re: where do Daleks come from?]

Since you asked, It is only fair that you should be told now, rather than hearing from some one on the street ("Hey bud, want to buy some hot pictures of some hot daleks?") or from one of your misinformed friends ("Well, I think I caught my parents once doing it" "Doing what?" "You know...IT!") So here is what happens...

When a daddy dalek really loves a mommy dalek, they show their love in a very special way. They both undergo bioplasmic segmentation, followed by mitochondrial coagulations in their chromosomal globules. After approximately 5 microns, a brand new baby dalek appears under a cabbage leaf in the garden, and the mommy and daddy dalek both have a cigarette.

I hope that explains everything.

-- Siobahn Morgan (morgans@cobra.uni.edu), 31 August 1995


Are you calling me a complex person?

-- Dave the Dave, 1 September 1995


In <4257o1$4bp@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>, seven@ix.netcom.com (alex floyd-vargas ) writes:

> This is very funny.

So funny that you had to share the entire posting with us again. Thank you Alex, I think you're taking the idea of Doctor Who repeats rather too literally.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 5 September 1995


: Halfway through Zamper, it occurs to me...

: It's not in the writer's guide, but are authors required to have Cwej
: get his kit off in every book?

Yeah. We've got to credit Paul Cornell in the Acknowledgement section, too, or we don't get paid.

-- Lance Parkin (ljp104@york.ac.uk), 4 September 1995


Badger Whovians - fans whose hairdressers come from Peladon.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 5 September 1995


>Could you please get me Billy Hartnell's address? Please? I'll pay!

One of you is making a grave mistake. Can you transfer this thread to alt.life.afterlife, please?

PS: I used to have Tom Baker's address, but when I wrote to him in 1981 it turned out that Peter Davison was living there.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 6 September 1995


I've never met a metatroll,
But if I met a metatroll,
I'd do an even better troll
And set a metametatroll
For unsuspecting billies gruff
To read, then shout `Enough's enough!
Let's goad her 'til she calls our bluff
And posts contentious megs of stuff!'
Keep to noninductive banter
Lest there lurk a man called Cantor;
Then your overzealous passion'll
Swamp the news with posts irrational.

-- Tamponax (ctm@dcs.ed.ac.uk), 7 September 1995


[suggestions for Paul Cornell, now that he's done all four seasons of his 'Long ago, in an english season' motif]

How about this ?

As the Doctor walks away from the wedding reception, he thinks back to the time he was engaged to be married, and how differently his life might have turned out, had he remained a human school teacher.

Long ago, in an english lesson.

-- David Owen (dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk), 7 September 1995


[more suggestions for Paul]

I suggest "Long ago in Season 7". That should fix him.

-- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com), 7 September 1995


[and more. . . ]

Bernice frowned. It took moments like this to remind her of how little she actually knew about the Doctor. Frankly, she had assumed that the Time Lord had no sexuality whatsoever. The subject was not only not discussed, but actively avoided; she had the impression there was a "no hanky panky discussion" rule in the TARDIS. Certainly the Doctor had never *acted* as though he had any kind of sex drive.

And yet, there he was.

Long ago.

In an English maiden.

-- Christopher D. Heer (cheer@isisph.com), 8 September 1995


And here are the answers to the Trivia Quiz!

  1. a)
  2. Twice, in "Time-Flight" and "Mark of the Rani", but apparently the large quantities of straw were severely corrosive in the latter.
  3. _Deceit_, pp. 83-90.
  4. "Meglos". (Was there any doubt?)
  5. The fifth, although the third sometimes managed it, too. There are rumours that the seventh may also have been involved, but these have yet to be substantiated.
  6. A melted jelly baby, three gum wrappers, and a sun-ripened Sontaran mask.
  7. Chris Heer and the Lofficiers.
  8. "Piss off, Adric"
  9. The letter 'Y', and nothing in particular, respectively.
  10. A wrestling contest between Mr. Blobby and a sausage maker.
If you got none of these correct, you have obviously never heard of Paul Cornell.

If you got 1-3 of these correct, you might want to buy a copy of the Programme Guide, or at least try to steal Paul Cornell's diary.

If you got 4-6 correct, you have already stolen Paul Cornell's diary, and are currently negotiating the publishing rights with Virgin.

If you got 7-9 correct, you wrote Paul Cornell's diary, and are pissed off at the person who got 4-6 correct and has stolen your work.

If you got all 10 correct, YOU ARE PAUL CORNELL AND I CLAIM MY FIVE COPIES OF "VENGEANCE ON VAROS"!

-- David McKinnon (mckinnon@math.berkeley.edu), 7 September 1995


In article <42pb8p$6jo@student.anu.edu.au> Segonax, g9106936@student.anu.edu.au writes:

>Fortunately, I don't live in the past...

Unfortunately.

-- Paul Cornell (paul@cornell.demon.co.uk), 9 September 1995


[Segonax decided to flame Dave the Dave. . . ]

> You're a dictator, a deviant, a delusioned man,
> a horror, a hate-lover, a hopeless cause,
> your soul purpose is to make other people feel bad and
> YOU DO IT DAMN WELL.

> Why did this group have to be stuck with you, hmmmm?

"Hello, kettle? This is Segonax. You're black."

-- Shannon Patrick Sullivan (shannon@morgan.ucs.mun.ca), 9 September 1995


fenric@clark.net (Andrew McCaffrey) writes:
> The Doctor (doctor@nl2k.edmonton.ab.ca) wrote:
> > As Davros will say I will be backing and The Doctor replies
>
> I didn't know that Davros had any musical aspirations.

Well, I've heard they were considering "Disco Davros" as a DW spinoff... they probably would have had to have his leisure suit custom made, though.

-- Tom Truszkowski (tat2@jaguar.uofs.edu), 9 September 1995


BTW, anyone knows of a good speliing companion for tin?

-- Dave the Dave (doctor@nl2k.edmonton.ab.ca), 9 September 1995


[to David McKinnon, ref: David Green (Segonax) and Dave the Dave]

He finds himself out of place, out of the moment he had been experiencing. Now all is strange crystalline mist and crackling lightning. In the distance he sees a tall, black point around which the atmosphere seems to centre. Instinctively, hackles raise on the back of his neck, a small gesture owing to his distance furred ancestors. He knows this must be an InterSpace of some kind. He knows only bad can come of this.

"I won't do it," he declares. "Whatever it is, I refuse."

A voice hangs in the air, taunting him before he can know its content, its purpose, and then the word permeates his consciousness.

"Davids."

"Davids?" he repeats cautiously. "Tell me more."

"We forsee a time when they will have destroyed all other lifeforms and become the dominant creature in the universe," states the detached voice.

"That's possible," he acknowledges. "Tell on."

"We'd like you to return to RADW at a point in time before the Davids evolved."

"Do you mean avert their creation?"

"Or affect their genetic development into less aggressive creatures."

"That's reasonable," he muses.

"Alternatively, if you discover enough about their beginnings you might find some inherent weakness."

"Alright" - resolve builds in his voice - "just one more time."

"You'll do it?"

"Yes. If you'll let me have the usenet coordinates I'll set my subscription for RADW."

"There's no need, you're here." The voice seems ominously tangible here. "This is RADW."

He's shocked - "What?"

"We thought it would save time if we assumed your agreement."

.. to be continued ..

-- David (!) Golding (dgolding@halls1.cc.monash.edu.au), 12 September 1995


> Only DS9 had no Pilot.

There is an un-necessary "i" in the above.

-- Andrew Rilstone (andrew@aslan.demon.co.uk), 12 September 1995


>. However, Hartnell was not a *re*generation -- since the Doctor had never
>regenerated before -- which would make Davison the fourth regeneration.

And Hartnell the off-air copy.

-- Paul Rhodes (paul.rhodes@liffe.com), 13 September 1995


The Doctor wrote:

[mega-snip]

>Pot, Jen, Blue.

Pot. Yadallee. Stoned?

-- Jon Blum (jnlum@glue.umd.edu), 13 September 1995


[on finding Dave the Dave]

This is like meeting Manson! HA!

-- Nash (jbozard@awod.com), 13 September 1995


Caroline Miller:

>Nobody's organised a poll for a while, so I thought I'd try this one:

Oh ... all right.

>Which of each of the following leaves you the most indifferent?

[list snipped]

*yawn* Oh, I dunno.

Can I let you know in a few days?

>I guess the entries with the most mediocre number of votes win.

Oh, never mind then.

-- David "Apathy" McKinnon (mckinnon@math.berkeley.edu), 13 September 1995


David Golding:
>>>>Yaddallee is the One True Dave around here unfortunately. *sigh*

David McKinnon:
>>>Hey! (pouts)
>>>
>>>Jon! Jon Blum!! You tell them who's the One True Dave around here!

Jon Blum:
>>Shh! If we can get Seggo and Yaddo fighting over who's the One True
>>Dave, maybe they'll take each other out, and then you'll be in the
>>position to reclaim your rightful title...
>>
>>Looking for a ringside seat at the r.a.dw Wars of Succession,

David Yadallee:
>Look at it this way, if Aus decides to dump the Monarch, Britain will
>annihilate the Whites giving power to the Aboriginies, hence *.au
>will become non-exsitant.

And then, in the resulting power vaccuum, the people will be begging for a strong leader to unite them, and end their troubles.

A leader with vision. A leader with strength! A leader with the power to put rec.arts.drwho in its rightful place as the supreme newsgroup of the Usenet!

And as the One True Dave, I will have that power!! To know that a simple flamewar, the simple pressure of my thumb on the keyboard could destroy the psyche of the entire Usenet ...

YES!!! I WOULD DO IT!!!

-- David "One True Dave" McKinnon (mckinnon@math.berkeley.edu), 8 September 1995


In article , dro@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Dave Owen) writes:
>In article <810852380snz@aslan.demon.co.uk> Andrew@aslan.demon.co.uk writes:
>>
>>Get used to disapointments. Fifteen minutes after New Who comes out,
>>the NA's become apocryphal
>
>Oh no! And I thought every word of them was *true*. You'll be telling me
>the Daleks weren't descended from a race called the Dals next... :-)

And they lived in the Valley of the Dals, right?

-- Greg McWhoosits (fedhost7@aol.com), 14 September 1995


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