-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The rec.arts.drwho Quote File!
"The quotes *are* old. . . but they chronicle the rise of
humour on r.a.dw up to the *present* day."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Created by Richard "Uncle Halibut" Salter
(etlrdsr@etlxdmx.ericsson.se)
Maintained by Christopher D. Heer
(cheer@us.oracle.com)
What is the quote file? Well it's sort of a collection of moments, if
you like. Moments on rec.arts.drwho that make us laugh, or strike us as
incredibly witty. If something makes you laugh out loud, be sure to
email it to me at the above address so I can consider it for inclusion.
This file will be maintained at http://www.eskimo.com/~cheer/quotefile.txt,
and updates will be posted to the newsgroup once a month.
On with the funny bits:
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[NEW]
>If anyone has any Dalek plans, please could they put them on a.b.dw.
A bloke down the pub reckons he heard that they're going to invade the Earth some time in the 22nd century.
- Richard Hagen (richard@cs.uq.edu.au)
July 15, 1996
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[NEW]
>I'm no fan of Silver Nemesis. But I *still* think it's better than
>Earthshock. Would you like to deny me my opinion as well?
Opinions expressed by humans have no validity. Destroy him.
Destroy him at once. Ulp..! (takes slingshot gold coin in the
gizzard and unaccountably falls to the ground>
- Topsham (topsham@ibm.net)
July 15, 1996
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[NEW]
> There is still [at least in America] the problem that it is going to
> be seen as a children's show, and treated as such.
> I mean do we really need a tacked on "Doctor says" morality bit? :)
- Of course we do.
"Dr. Who Says!
K-9: Today we learned that the Doctor did a very bad thing when he
destroyed Skaro.
Zoe: Yes, you should try to avoid doing that. Also, you should try to
avoid un-doing the destruction of planets on your own personal
whims.
Leela: And you shouldn't marry off your main characters for no good
reason!
Cyberman: And yoU shOuldn't gIve cool viLlans stUpid weakNesses.
Doctor: Doctor Who Says! Hee hee hee!"
- See, won't that help out America's screwed-up kids? Sure as hell
helped me out, and I just made it up!
- Kuno (deva@wizard.net)
August 21, 1996
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[NEW]
>"Trial" is perhaps one of the best DW eps that I have seen and I have
>now seen every episode from "Robot" to "Trial".
*Hearing a sound that, if he didn't know better, he would describe as
the Devil ice skating...*
- Kelly (earwickr@sirius.com)
August 21, 1996
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[NEW]
You're all wrong--when the rather panicky Dalek yells, "HOME PLANET SKARO
ABOUT TO VAPORIZE," he's actually in the middle of reading his list of
things to do for that day & it's just taken sadly out of context. The
Dalek has just reviewed the morning's planned activities--"8:00 GET UP.
8:30: WRITE POETRY. REMOVE WAFFLES FROM PACKAGE. 9:30: EXTERMINATE
WAFFLES. 10:00: TAKE SLYTHER ON WALKIES. 11:00:
TAKE ANTI-GRAV PLATFORM TO PEACEFUL PLANET ZIBLITS VI FOR GROCERIES AND
AFTERNOON EXTERMINATIONS. 12:00 (*and here we cut to the Dalek, who
really ought to be watching his instruments*) HOME (PLANET SKARO). ABOUT
2: VAPORIZE (cut away from Dalek) MASTER. REST OF EVENING GET PISSED AND
PLUNGE TOILET. HEY WHAT THE HELL JUST BLEW UP--?"
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
August 22, 1996
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[NEW]
>Matthew Waterhouse was supposed to be a bit upset that he was killed...
Matthew Waterhouse has been killed? That's terrible. No wonder he was upset.
- Christopher Miles (milsey@halls1.cc.monash.edu.au)
August 25, 1996
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[NEW]
The Doctor (doctor@nl2k.edmonton.AB.ca) wrote:
:
: Jill, can you explain WHY this postings has pop up 4 times
: on news.nl2k.edmonton.ab.ca?
So, 'The Doctor' complains about strange and tedious posting eh?
Y'know, Freud had a name for that....
- Korvin Mobberley (u4i97@cc.keele.ac.uk)
August 25, 1996
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[NEW]
Gilligan's Island
-------------------------------------------------------------
This is a follow-up to my review in the Times Literary Supplement, which
has apparently caused a lot of people to ask "Who *is* this fatuous
dunce?" In part, that is precisely the reaction I wanted to get. The other part I was hoping for was that people would try to find out for themselves exactly how much of a dunce I am. Despite some snide comments from all the liars and fanboys and idiots, who all hate me and refuse to like the same books I like & are all out to get me, and also despite the little man with the tall green hat who lives under my bed and is also out to get me, I will attempt to outline some of the main points of the show. I ho
pe this makes some sense...because if it doesn't I'm going to have to blame you all for being liars and idiots and I hate you I hate you I HATE you---!!!!!
In itself, Gilligan's Island is a very complex and intelligent show,
which requires a lot of thought and patience to understand. This doesn't
make it a bad show, just slightly above the comprehension of some people's viewing levels on the first viewing. It is written in such a devious way that if you're not looking for the important clues that tie every single scene into one continuous storyline, then you will definitely miss them. It is not like other shows. If you don't try to like Gilligan's Island, it won't let you. But if you do, you will be very surprised.
However, to fully appreciate it as a Bob Denver show, one must first
understand that Gilligan's Island is the penultimate climax in the story
block that takes place between DOBIE GILLIS and SPACE NUTS. During this
time, Bob Denver loses his goatee, and it is obviously affecting Gilligan, to such an extent that he considers going back to America and retiring in the episode where they get off the island, he sends the Skipper away in the episode with the gorilla, he does something or other in the episode with all the exploding plates, and he doesn't even bother to try to resolve the situation and leaves it hanging in limbo by the end of the first episode of SPACE NUTS. In each of these stories, Bob Denver is desperatel
y trying to find a way to maintain control of himself and his facial hair, while trying to continue to play his role as a foolish clown at the same time. At the beginning of this show, Gilligan considers taking the easy way out and giving up the latter, and that is when he lands on Gilligan's Island.
Gilligan's Island is a manichean struggle between the forces of Good and
Evil. The actual story itself both begins and ends at the water's edge,
with Gilligan suspended between the dark "female" impulses of the
mysterious and boundless sea and the rational "male" desire for fixedness and order in a universe of change as is symbolized by the island. This is obviously a metaphor that is echoed throughout the show. Keeping this in mind, one should always be on the look-out for influences by unseen forces trying to oppose the characters and and set them at odds with each other. This time, Gilligan is not a sailor, but a castaway.
Gilligan's Island is a Tragedy, which explores the relationship between
mankind and its sea voyages. There are different characters which
represent different philosophical viewpoints on this subject. Is there free will? We know from the start that all the passengers on the Minnow are ultimately doomed. Is there really a Skipper or a Professor trying to control the destinies of all these characters, or is this shipwreck merely the consequence of cause and effect and the drifting uncertainty of the characters' pasts literally catching up with them?
Gilligan's Island is a journey into the heart of Darkness. The setting of an island cut off from the mainland creates a very effective atmosphere where the waves are almost continually pounding against the shore, which has an interesting 'psychological' effect on the characters and ties in thematically with the contemporaneous events on the other local islands, where surely their inhabitants also observe the effects of tidal activity. As the show goes on, there is more and more chaos and senseless violence
But what is its purpose? Could its purpose be that it has no purpose?
Gilligan's Island is really a story about a broken yo-yo, but you have to watch it and figure out what that means for yourself.
If you disagree with my brilliant analysis in any way I will hold my
breath until I turn blue, & that'll teach you to disagree.
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
August 25, 1996
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[NEW]
[Ed. Note: special nomination for a .sig]
--
Jeff "If You Ain't Gonna Give It Up, Take Your Dead Ass Home" Vail
Protector of Newark; Lord President of the High Council of Stuff Under My
Bed; UNIT Funkadelic Advisor; The New Number Two; The Catharsis of
Spurious Morality; nee Estelle Katurgicle Bix, OBE, Mrs., Deceased
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
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[NEW]
And actually, you haven't heard the worst bit....we haven't reached "Legacy
of the Daleks", which has an alternate title of "Alpha's Love Story", and
is a sequel to Evil of the Daleks, which will reveal all sorts of new, and
certainly controversial, items about Daleks. "I've finally met the blob of
my dreams and he's from another planet!"
- Michael Lee (michaell@execpc.com)
August 24, 1996
-------------------------------------------------------------
[NEW]
'kmm@earth.execpc.com (Kathleen McKinnon)' wrote:
>I speak from experence here. I _understand_ why you all hate him, but
>he's my second favorite, right under Davidson's.
Dear Ms. McKinnon:
We regret to inform you that your admiration for Mr. Davison's portrayal of
the Doctor has been rejected for faulty spelling.
Therefore, reality has been adjusted and henceforth in YOUR universe, the
Fifth Doctor will have been portrayed by Pauly Shore.
Be thankful that we didn't consign you to the universe where the Doctor's
fourth regeneration resulted in a personality split, and where the Fifth
Doctor was portrayed by the Jerky Boys.
We hope you will be more careful in the future. We would hate to have to
introduce you to the universe where Paul Reubens replaced Mel Gibson in
"Braveheart."
- Elsa J. Frohman (elsaf@usa.pipeline.com)
August 26, 1996
-------------------------------------------------------------
[NEW]
[on Dave Stone's query re: what we all look like]
This is just to let everyone know that since my last posting I have
unexpectedly regenerated by slipping in the tub.
I *now* look like a corkscrew-shaped wooly pig three thousand miles in
length and one thousand in breadth. I have a profusion of stiff immobile
indigo legs spaced irregularly across my body, and a single googly eye at
each end. I orbit the planet Neptune.
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
August 27, 1996
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[NEW]
: Oh, yeah. A trillion miles places Skaro somewhere outside of Pluto's
: orbit. If my memory serves me coreectly, one of the Dalek annuals from
: the Sixties suggests that Skaro was in Earth's solar system, didn't it?
The same one that said Daleks weighed less than a gram and couldn't see
anything that was painted red.
- Lance Parkin (ljp104@york.ac.uk)
August 27, 1996
-------------------------------------------------------------
[NEW]
>So who has the sexiest voice in who?
Alpha Centauri after a pack and a half of Camels.
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
August 28, 1996
-------------------------------------------------------------
[NEW]
> This newsgroup is just too complex. We need an organizational chart.
Test (-------------------------- NAs
| ^
| |
| |
V |
Lives before Hartnell ---------------------> Canon
- Chuck Foster (chuck@uunet.pipex.com)
August 28, 1996
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[NEW]
[on Dave Yadallee]
He's half-coherent on his mother's side...
- Christopher J. Rednour
August 29, 1996
-------------------------------------------------------------
[NEW]
> ... can anyone here tell me the correct pronounciation of
>: Cwej?
As mentioned in several other threads, but more importantly in
"Original Sin", it's officially "shvay" but everyone says "kwedge".
(People suggesting "SS-Wedge" are getting confused with the
bad guys in "Timewyrm: Exodus" who wore the beetlecrushers.)
For all those who have asked, my surname is pronounced
"Kanna-bayou-alarj-drink", with the voice rising on the last
syllable. Try this when you next meet me at a convention:
"Hello, you must be Peter Anghelides".
- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com)
August 29, 1996
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[NEW]
Starting at 7.15 tonight there will be an evening's viewing to
celebrate nearly 33 years of Doctor Who, the long running BBC Science
Fiction series.
The evening starts at 7.15 with a screening of The Romans part 2 "All
Roads Lead To Rome" introduced by longtime fan and radw regular Paul
Shields. Episodes 3 and 4 will be screened at 9pm and 10.50pm
respectively.
At 7.45 the documentary "Thirty Years In The Tardis" will be shown.
This is the crap televised version without all the good bits.
8.35 "Remembrance Of The Daleks" part one will be shown with no sound.
Viewers are encouraged to make their own.
9.25 Daleks Invasion Earth 2150AD. The classic 60s film starring Peter
Cushing will be shown in widescreen but with a few of the reels
swapped around. This showing is in association with Lumiere Video.
At 11.15 "The Dominators" will start.
At 11.20 it will finish. Viewers insane enough to want more don't
deserve to have television.
11.20 "Yup, I'm one of _them_" - a light hearted look at the various
appearances by fans on tv current affairs programmes. There will also
be the tv premiere of the video of the new novelty dance hit "Eric
Idle" featuring the small chap dressed as Sylvester McCoy off Did You
See.
11.30 "Enemy Within" - another chance to see the recent big budget
movie starring Paul McGann. This will be the full US version with
extra gory bits put in as well so UK fans have something to boast
about. There will also be a raunchy sex scene specially shot for this
version featuring Paul McGann and the winner of the drawing
competition held by Doctor Who Magazine.
1.00 FILM: "The Yaddalee Awake", 1953, b+w. Starring Sterling Haydon
and Anne Bancroft.
Remember - the evening starts at 7.15 on Channel 10 of my television.
- Paul Shields (paul@korova.demon.co.uk)
August 26, 1996
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[NEW]
>Something like that, yes. I'm asking for independent corroboration that
>the event occured. Taking a crime analogy, Skaro getting blown up is a
>smoking gun. Now you have to place the suspect at the scene of the crime.
I heard that Omega had a hand in it.
- Kate Orman (korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au)
September 1, 1996
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[NEW]
In article (3225E6BF.6469@becker.com>, Dave Becker (dave@becker.com> wrote:
(snip)
>You and your groupies have done an excellent job of pushing me up against
>a wall and into a corner.
(snip)
> You are a horrible person.
>--Dave.
RECEIVING URGENT COMMUNIQUE FOR GROUP LEADER ORMAN RE: TARGET DESIGNATED
DAVE BECKER-----
COMMUNIQUE FOLLOWS-----
******TARGET ELIMINATED*******
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
August 31, 1996
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[NEW]
>Been gone from the net for a while. What are the latest rumors regarding
>the future of Who?
The future of Who is a large walrus wearing sunglasses and riding a
motorcycle somewhere in the Antartic.
- Robert Smith? (g9526329@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca)
September 1, 1996
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[NEW]
>:Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't 'resistance is futile' what the
>:Vogons shouted in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy ?
> No, that's "resistance is useless".
And, of course, the Apathicians of Apathica VI mumble "Resistence is
pointless, just like everything else in this meaningless universe."
Which is probably why nobody writes about them.
- R. Dan Henry (danhenry@inreach.com)
September 3, 1996
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[NEW]
Being cybernetic, all the cybermen have a broad knowledge of
electronics. When they say "resistence is useless" they are actually
giving out free advice on circuit design. For some reason their follow-
up slogan "impedence is a much more useful concept" always gets cut.
- Ken Mann (ken@kenelise.demon.co.uk)
September 3, 1996
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[NEW]
[An excerpt from "Doctor Who and the Internet Monster", an
untransmitted adventure in which Doctor Who, without knowing
it, indirectly prevents yet another Earth invasion...]
"Ssso, Xaarl, the third planet from the sssun is our target?"
"Yesss, we have high hopesss that we will find intelligent life there
that we can conquer and enssslave..."
"Then let usss monitor their communicationssss. Open channel I."
"Asss you command..."
czecd@ruby.ils.unc.edu (Front Desk) wrote:
>Bleah.
"Xaarl, you are clearly not fit for command! Intelligent life,
indeed! You will die a thousssand deathsss before the sssecond
moon."
- Steve Biggs (smb@mfltd.co.uk)
September 4, 1996
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[NEW]
> If anything, you're doing Segonax better than Segonax did.
Yes, he must be making David Green Orman with envy...
- Sean Gaffney (gaffney@iconn.net)
September 4, 1996
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[NEW]
>the famous idiots of radw
An MA by Gareth Roberts, coming soon from BBC Books.
- Kate Orman (korman@laurel.ocs.mq.edu.au)
September 1, 1996
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[NEW]
>Best: Well, Birthright has a gorgeous cover; The Also People is,
>well...interesting to see; Sleepy's cover is highly underrated;
I agree. Time to restore the balance.
"Ah, Sleepy! What brilliance in thy cover
"How I wish you were my lover
"A glory that shall forever linger
"Except for Chris' little finger!"
- Robert Smith? (g9526329@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca)
September 4, 1996
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[NEW]
>What Who monsters/aliens is it morally okay to kill, which are maybe okay
>to kill in some circumstances, and which are not okay to kill?
Adric was an alien and I feel that the Doctor was morally obliged to kill him.
- Christopher Miles (milsey@halls1.cc.monash.edu.au)
September 7, 1996
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[NEW]
>Who the hell is Yads, and why does everyone seem to hate this person?
>You all post so much stuff containing anti-Yads comments, that it is
>getting a bit boring for me not being able to understand this .
>and also because I can't understand his rebuttles, I don't know why
>you hate him/her so much!
No, actually Yads is the unit of currency used in rec.arts.drwho.
True, we all complain about it, but doesn't everyone do that about money
anyway?
It's small, sticky green stuff, fiddly to use, but indispensible, so we
all have to use it, but none of has to like it
The exchange rate is (approximately):
1 Yads = 1 flat bottomed boat (a.k.a. a "punt")
or, equivalently,
1 Yads = 1 glass of Guiness
Thus, when you are annoyed at blowing your whole week's worth of Yads in one floating drinking spree, you are then entitled to use the words "Shut up punt drunk" at will.
- Robert Smith (g9526329@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca)
September 7, 1996
-------------------------------------------------------------
[NEW]
>What are the sewers like in Tibet??
That's part of the problem! When I went there, I never actually got a
chance to find out, because I kept being attacked in the dead of night by
large men in fur coats (at least, I *think* they were men...).
The one time I *did* try and nick off for a bit of relief, I found myself
in a cave with a whole bunch of shiny silver balls. Which ordinarily
wouldn't have worried me so much, but these ones started moving of their
own accord!
I tried to take refuge in a nearby monastery, but the guy in charge
didn't like me playing my classical music - he said it was "rubbish" and
complained about how "kids today have no taste in music". I think he must
have been *really* old...
- Robert Smith (g9526329@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca)
September 7, 1996
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[NEW]
: I had forgotten Syl's real name during the Who Cruise earlier this
: year. Thus, when one of his sons came up and asked me where Kent was, I
: wound up giving him a blank stare!
Sort of south-east coast of Britain. You can't miss it.
- Phil Hallard (chri0073@sable.ox.ac.uk)
September 8, 1996
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[NEW]
Dave Stone wrote:
> But then, the first three chapters of Sky Pitarates! don't exist.
"Sky Pitarates"? Wasn't that the book you co-wrote with Neil
Penswick? Oh, yeah, I remember it now...
(flashback>
The Doctor woke up feeling terrible. He wondered why. It was hard
to remember. He had to stop and think. He thought for some time.
Then all at once his mind blazed with painful remembrance, as though
some unseen being had shoved a live wire up his left nostril --
which was, now that he thought about it, pretty typical of the sort
of malignant cold-blooded viciousness he'd come to expect from
unseen beings on the whole, except for the occasional lesser god who
turned out not to be such a bad chap, the kind you might have around
for a game of darts and a pint some time, if it weren't for the
intangibility factor making that a bit problematic.
Anyway, he remembered now. He took a piece of paper and a pencil
from the table beside the bed. He would make a note and put it in
his pocket. It would remind him what not to do the next time he
went to a party.
"Never..." he scribbled, then stopped and swallowed hard at the
tickling-burning sensation crawling up the back of his throat. For
the first time in centuries he was absolutely certain he was going
to throw up, and it was all he could do to finish the note before
flinging the covers aside and dashing to the ensuite bathroom.
An hour later Benny came in. The door to the bathroom was still
closed. "Doctor?" she asked. The only reply was a moan. Benny
looked around. Then she saw the piece of paper on the table. She
picked it up.
It said, in words simple but profound, "Never eat the yellow dip."
(/flashback>
Such a pity Virgin rejected it, don't you think?
- Rebecca J. Anderson (rebeccaj@mercury.execulink.com)
September 8, 1996
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[NEW]
I was deadly serious. Dolphins are indisputably the most hideous threat
faced by the world today.
The facts:
1) Dolphins keep tuna from their natural environment, which is in a tin
in the supermarket.
2) People say they save sailors. Oh yes, they save sailors when other
sailors are *watching*. Sycophantic little creeps.
3) Never trust a subaquatic mammal that smiles all the time. It's up to
something. Terry Pratchett said this, so it must be true.
4) They tangle up drift nets, so the poor sailors have to spend hours
untangling them, which keeps them from putting tuna in their natural
environment. See (1)
5) They come down here with their fancy dolphin ways, take our jobs,
steal our women and win our lottery.
6) I don't like dolphins.
7) And the fact of my failed relationship with Flipper has nothing to do
with it. He went all Hollywood, what with all the parties and shit - you
should have seen the sheer amount of *coke* he sucked down through that
blowhole. And his relationship with that blond kid with a face like an
unlanced boil wasn't everything it should be, either ...
There. After a considered and reasonable explanation like that, is it
any wonder that anyone caught smuggling a dolphin into Revenge of Sone
of Five-a-Side Jackanory Rides Again Part Two is given a verbal warning
and then shot? Quite.
ObWho: The Doctor is cool because he likes penguins and hates dolphins.
Fnerk.
- Dave Stone (dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk)
September 7, 1996
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[NEW]
Hey Omega you headless stentorian poseur livin' in a black hole jive
turkey-----
If you were affronted by that story, try this on for size--
A plasmaton could take one of your Gell guards any day, with all its
gelatinous buboes tied behind its back, so nyeeah! :-p :-)
It could wobble but it couldn't hide--!
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
September 8, 1996
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[NEW]
>Just how much difference is there between kids from 1996 and kids from
>1970?
Well, the latter are 26 years older than the former. They're the ones
trying to flog their crap old Who memorabilia to today's spotty teenagers.
- Peter Anghelides (anghelides@vnet.ibm.com)
September 10, 1996
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[NEW]
>???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
> The Frobisher (Dave R. Stone) Talkin' the Dog's Bollocks
> dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk
> Colin Baker, Numero 6! You weren't really going to wear that?
> ******
>http://web.ukonline.co.uk/Members/dave.stone/index.html Founding
>Member: Mister Hooty's Intertemporal Interdimentional bar, grill
>and tap-dancing emporium. Bipolars Unlimited. Kids! Don't try
>this at home or you'll end up looking like a total horse's ass!
>?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
- Dave Stone (dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk)
September 10, 1996
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[NEW]
> I didn't enjoy the movie because they Americanized it (ie. candles
> everywhere,
Yes, here in America, we live by candlelight. That is why we consume so
little electricity. We also ride horses most everywhere.
> the eye in the Tardis,
No American home is without an Eye in its Tardis.
> the half human thing,
Americans are, as you imply, half-human things.
> the romance thing,
Ah, yes, the great American invention, romance. Don't tell the rest of
the world, or they'll want it, too.
> the dead master thing, etc.etc.).
The dead master thing? You mean the hate-animated corpse? Yes, we have
those everywhere in America, too. Had to shoot two of them on my way to
the computer.
- R. Dan Henry (danhenry@inreach.com)
September 10, 1996
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[NEW]
[someone suggested that Dave Stone shouldve written the promotions for the telefilm and gave examples]
> *swoosh*
> This has no penguins.
> *swoosh*
> No intestines*
> *swoosh*
> Tonight on fox.
> *swoosh*
> Doctor Who!
> *swoosh, swoosh*
*swosh*
This has bits of uterly gratuitous silliness.
*swish*
This has an incredibly cool title sequence.
*swash*
This could, all things considered, have been one hell of a lot worse.
*Swerk*
After watching it absolutely everybody agreed that it wasn't a patch on
the old Doctor Whos they remembered from days of yore.
Classic Who, in other words.
- Dave Stone (dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk)
September 10, 1996
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[NEW]
[Here on alt.sex.drwho, the subject has been raised: Are Time Lords
sexual?]
> Myself I don't really care, and would rather not know for the sake of
> the gallifrey thing reaining as wide-open as possible.
You might want to rephrase that, given the subject and the number of
perverted jokesters on this group. I, however, will refrain from telling
you that "the gallifrey thing" is no way to refer to Romana.
- R. Dan Henry (danhenry@inreach.com)
September 10, 1996
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[NEW]
> : [1] Snip line supplied by Queeg from 'Burning Heart.' Full name:
> : Queegvogel Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Seven. I'm not making it up.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Yes, you are, unless 'Burning Heart' was plagiarised? :)
I am *not* making it up. Queegvogel Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Duck Seven
is the name of the alien on Uranus who pulse-pumped the book in its
entirity through the tinfoil in my hat. I am shocked and
DON"T LISTEN TO HIM! I am JESUS CHRIST and the LORD GOD
ALMIGHTY and *I* dictated the Good Book in question and
Mummy? Mummy? What's that *bad* man doing to me? He's making me
write a book called Burning Heart it ...
Back in the box, all of you! Multiple Personality Syndrome. Sheesh.
- Dave Stone (dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk)
September 10, 1996
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[NEW]
>Because then the Doctor and Davros are both idiots. And they're not.
Well, the Doctor isn't. I question the intelligence of an inventor who
creates creatures who are supposed to dominate the universe, but lack
opposable digits.
Ian "OOPS-I-DROPPED-MY-PENCIL. CAN-ANY-ONE-GET-IT-FOR-ME?" McIntire
- Ian McIntire (imm@cwru.edu)
September 11, 1996
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[NEW]
> Davros taunts him: "Action requires
> courage, and the Time Lords are the most spineless race in the history
> of the galaxy."
Well, technically, the Rutans are the most spineless race in the history
of the galaxy.
- R. Dan Henry (danhenry@inreach.com)
September 7, 1996
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[NEW]
Jonathan Blum writes:
>>How many of the regular posters and lurkers know each other?
> At Visions last year there was a big radw get-together (which Kate and I
> missed out on, because we were both exhausted at the time)
(snip>
> [I've] spent hours trying to resist temptation in Chris Heer's hotel
> room.
I think the original question was about social knowledge, rather than
carnal knowledge. :-)
For those who are worried about canonicity, Jon was not wearing his
Time Rift costume at any stage, and so the Doctor remains virgo intacta.
- Peter Anghelides (angelides@vnet.ibm.com)
September 9, 1996
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[NEW]
Before you read this, I just want to make sure that everyone understands
that this is a joke. It is not meant to be taken seriously, and is in fact
meant to be quite funny - that's just an opinion, by the way, if you don't
think it's funny that's fine, but it's not meant to be offensive or anything. So please. When you read this message, remember that it is in fact humorous.
Bugger. I've forgotten the joke.
- Bruce Greenwood (rdqw@music.macarthur.uws.edu.au)
September 11, 1996
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[NEW]
> >What would Professor
> >Wagg care if some weirdo in a costume a century out of date tells him
> >he's half-human.
> True, but would he care if the Doctor had told him the *actual* secret,
> which, for the sake of argument, might possibly be much more shocking
> and off-putting (or even much more mundane) than his revelation of
> half-humanity?
We can only speculate:
"I like to eat human brains."
"I roll naked on my jelly babies before I hand them out."
"I've got a stiffy for the first time in centuries!"
"That underwear you gave me is riding up."
"I blew up the planet Skaro. The only planet that was ever called Skaro,
in fact. Home planet of the Daleks and the Thals. Booom! Felt guilty for
awhile, but then I realized it really was the right thing to do."
- R. Dan Henry (danhenry@inreach.com)
September 11, 1996
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>(Speaking of T[ime] M[onster], it was nice to see a scene where the
>companion has more guts than the Doctor. Yay, Jo! :)
Didn't we see this in Earthshock, as well?
- Robert Smith? (g9526329@mcmail.cis.mcmaster.ca)
September 10, 1996
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[on the thread, "Nicola Bryants Birth"]
> This is "news" ???
Well, let me answer that as succinctly as possible. This is a posting in
a Usenet newsgroup, so on that count I suppose that it might technically
qualify as "news".
This is also the first time I've written it, so - quite unlike the
entire postings from certain other people I might care to mention - I
suppose these words also qualifies as "news" too, and we're just going
to have to Deel with it. [1]
I have a vague connection to Doctor Who and therefore everybody on radw
must be inordinately if not incredibly interested in every passing
thought I have, and hang breathless, the poor dears, upon every word I
might deign to write. So on that count, it's radw "news" too!
Then again, if this is just a response to someone rather pointedly
wanting everything and everything on radw to be entirely ,DW
canon-related or some such shit - then why, I'll have you know sir that
I have never in my *life* cluttered the bandwidth with inconsequetial,
nonsense posts that are in fact about absolutely nothing at all. Perish
the apparently sequential sequence of a destabilised automemic system
under a state of entropic collapse.
Have at you, sir! Pistols at dawn, I fancy. Or possibly nearer teatime,
since John Lyndon and the boys are getting on a bit, now.
[1] Deal? Deel! Hahahahahahahahah! Oh, that gets me every time.
- Dave Stone (dave.stone@ukonline.co.uk)
September 12, 1996
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>I recall Pertwee eating some sandwiches which apparently contained
>meat.
Ah yes--not only in the middle of that marvelous duel in the Sea Devils,
but also in that Admiral's (or whatever rank he was) office in the same
story. Big eater that Pertwee. I suppose the 3rd Doctor & the 6th were
the ones most likely to need lots of protein.
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
September 9, 1996
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Jill Deel says:
>Get a clue!
Can I have yours, since you aren't using it?
- Christopher D. Heer (cheer@us.oracle.com)
September 12, 1996
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[NEW]
>Doesn't God at least give a chance for sinners to repent? Sorry
>haven't read Revelation for a while.
Nope, I've flicked through Revelation. I can find Hemmings and a
nasty little boy but the nearest I could find to God was Saul, a
talking church. Besides, I thought God *wrote* Revelation not
starred in it :)
- Gary Russell (101707.2474@compuserve.com)
September 12, 1996
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>Okay, after watching "Ghost Light" a number of times, I'm reasonably clear
>on Control's part in the experiment--and the rest of the characters' roles
>too. Changing tack a bit, my question is: What did Josiah have against
>the Queen, and more importantly, what did he expect would happen if he had
>been able to kill her?
Tennyson would've started writing some better poems?
- Jeffrey Willia Vail (vail@strauss.udel.edu)
September 12, 1996
--
Christopher D. Heer / cheer@us.oracle.com / cheer@eskimo.com
rec.arts.drwho Quote File submissions by email
My opinions are my own and do not reflect those of Oracle Corp.
The Official Nth Doctor web page: http://www.eskimo.com/~cheer/nth.htm
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